Emotional Readiness This part of the formula is probably the least understood by society. Many pre-schools don’t allow children who aren’t toilet trained, disposable training pants are targeted mainly to parents of 2 year olds and even some medical professionals still believe a child should be trained by a certain age. But in June of 1999, the AAP released new guidelines on toilet training which specifically state that a child must be emotionally ready to train - and if he is not, you should wait. Your child may have perfect control over his bowel and bladder movements, and may even understand that everyone expects him to use the toilet, but that may not mean he is ready.

So how do you know when your child is ready? Take our Toilet Training Quiz to get an idea of where your toddler is, then come back and read the following factors that indicate readiness.

Some experts say that most of the emotional signs below should be present, while others say just one or two can be recognized before training should start. It is important for you to judge how ready your own child seems and then take it slowly from there. If you are concerned that your child isn’t quite ready, your instincts can be confirmed by having a trial period with training. The most important thing to remember is that once you ’ve started training, you don’t have to continue if your child is resisting. As surprising as this may sound, for most kids, going back to diapers won’t deter them from learning to use the potty. The key is to be casual about all of it, and don’t show disappointment if your child goes back to diapers. Look for these signs:

• Your child is uncomfortable in a soiled or wet diaper. If you walk into your toddler’s room and he has taken off his diaper, ask him why. If he points to it and makes a bad expression, tells you it didn’t feel good or asks for a new one, he is telling you he likes to be dry. Another common sign is if your little one asks to be changed (by either actions or words), brings you another diaper or expects to be changed at a certain time each day (like after a meal).



• Your child shows interest in the toilet or the act of going to the bathroom. If your toddler follows you into the bathroom and asks questions (either verbally or with expressions and gestures), remembers the general routine (sit, wipe, flush), or wants to flush the toilet or hand you toilet paper, he is interested in the process. Encourage this behavior and explain what you are doing.



• Your child likes to be praised and follows directions. At some point, your toddler will want to please you by following your instructions. For example, if your toddler can clear his own place at the table or pick up some toys or clothes and put them in a basket after you’ve asked him to, and he enjoys receiving your praise, he may be willing to try the new task of toilet training.



• Your child goes behind furniture or hides when relieving himself in a diaper. This shyness about going to the bathroom is actually a good indicator that your child is taking eliminating waste seriously. If he is concentrating on what is happening to his body, he may be ready to find a new place to have a bladder and bowel movement.

Not all children are ready to train at the age of 2. In fact, in January, 1997, a study in the journal Pediatrics showed that only four percent of 482 healthy toddlers studied were toilet trained by age 2. The study also showed that only 22 percent were trained by 2 ½ years of age; 60 percent were trained by age 3; 88 percent by 3 ½ and two percent were still not trained by age 4. Boys tend to train later than girls, according to the study, and perhaps the most interesting facts were that behavior, having siblings, having a mother who stayed home or attending daycare were not associated with the age at which a child trained. So before you beat yourself up over when your child should be trained, keep in mind that all kids are different - and in the words of Dr. T. Berry Brazelton, pediatrician and advocate of toddler-led toilet training, remember: “It’s got to be his achievement.”