Learning to use the toilet or potty-chair is a big accomplishment for a young child. It's also difficult. Some kids understand the basics and do well, and some kids really aren't ready. If you aren't sure if your child is ready for the toilet, take the quiz and see Is My Child Ready? for more information.

For most parents, finding a way to motivate their child becomes the real challenge. Short of standing over them all day long asking, "Do you have to go to the bathroom?" what can you do? A lot of kids need a reason to relieve themselves in the toilet -- which is much more work than just having an accident or soiling the diaper. So what reasons can you give your child?

The most important motivator for children, and the healthiest, is parental approval. If your tot feels a sense of pride when he makes it to the toilet in time, this is a great start! Of course, this means you need to react positively each and every time your child makes the effort to use the toilet or potty-chair. Even if your child has been attempting to use the potty for weeks, you should always react with pride and true happiness at each attempt. You are confirming that mom and dad are pleased with this behavior, which will help your child become more motivated.

Another popular way to help your child maintain interest in this new "game" is to offer a reward. Many parents believe using a reward system is the key to successful toilet training. But, some experts believe rewarding is a lot like bribing, and think the end result is not a healthy one. Bribery can deter your child from truly wanting the accomplishment for himself. Also, if he is used to hearing statements like, "If you use the potty today, I'll give you a present," three months later he may turn the tables and say, "I'll only use the potty if you give me that cookie." Negotiation can rule the house, making parents feel as if they have no authority or respect.

But, a healthy reward system is attainable, and could be very beneficial. Here are some things to remember when considering the reward system:

• Your child will not benefit from a reward system unless she has shown that she is capable of using the toilet or potty-chair. Reward systems are better used when a child is having many accidents because she has lost motivation, not because she was just introduced to the concept.
• Parental praise should never be replaced by a reward system. A parent can become resentful if the reward system becomes abused (for example, the child sits on the potty every 10 minutes and expects a reward, but doesn't seem to actually care about using the potty and still has consistent accidents). If a parent loses control of the reward system, praise is hard to give.
• Large rewards, such as gifts or trips, should never be offered. Remember, using the potty is something your child will be doing multiple times a day; promising a large reward is unrealistic.

Once you've decided on using a reward system, you need to make a plan. The rewards will work best when everyone who is helping with toilet training is using the same methods. Here are some ideas for rewarding:

Use a chart and stickers. This is by far the most popular method used by parents. The chart should be colorful and large enough to place multiple small stickers on each square. Have a packet of small stickers (stars work well) and a container of larger stickers. Each day, place a small sticker on the square for each attempt to use the potty -- regardless of the results. Then, decide on whether you will use the large stickers for each time your child actually eliminates in the potty-chair or toilet, or if you will give a large sticker for each day your child goes without accidents.

Use stickers on the potty-chair. Many parents will forego the chart and just let the child decorate her potty-chair with stickers. This may be a good reward system for kids who are very interested in designing, decorating and creating works of art. Encourage your child to "make the potty pretty" and give different-sized stickers for different results on the potty-chair.

Use small edible treats. While using candy or other sugary items isn't a good idea, some parents use a reward system that focuses on food. Keep it surprising. Giving your child a few Cheerios every time he sits on the potty may work for a while, but you may need to switch cereals every couple of days, and only offer cereals he doesn't get at breakfast. Promising your child a special dessert or treat if he has an accident-free day may work for an older child, but most toddlers aren't ready for that kind of long-term reward system.

Use toys. Many "everything's a dollar" stores have small toys that kids will enjoy as rewards. It's probably best to use these with older kids who can have accident-free days and can wait all day for a reward. If you give toys throughout the day, you'll go broke before you know it.

While rewarding may motivate your child to use the potty-chair or toilet for the first few weeks of learning, it is important to emphasize that using the process is natural and common. Once your child can take pride in his own efforts and accomplishments, rewards shouldn't be necessary. So how do you help your child feel this sense of pride? Offer the best reward of all: your love and approval.