It started about a week before Christmas last year. Day after day, the doorbell rang. Dresses, dolls and even a sleigh arrived for Olivia Falcone from out-of-state relatives.

On Christmas Eve, Olivia, then 1 year old, went with her parents, Darcy and Jeff, to her grandparents' home. No fewer than 20 gifts awaited her. The next morning, Santa had left six more. Christmas Day was spent with Darcy's family, and Olivia added another dozen presents to her haul. That night, the family dragged back to their Brooklyn, N.Y., home with some gifts still unwrapped.

"There was no way she could digest it all," says Darcy Falcone. "It was overstimulation. She really didn't understand the concept of gift-giving."

Too Much of a Good Thing
The Falcones are not the only ones feeling overwhelmed by too much of a good thing. Overindulgence may be an annual ritual in your family, despite Thanksgiving pledges that "this year's going to be different." Why do things keep getting so out of hand?

"Because they can," says Robert Billingham, an Indiana University associate professor of human development and family studies. "The economy is such that for many parents conspicuous consumption is simply a way of life. They overspend on themselves, and they do the same for their children."

Guilt can also play a factor, say some experts.

"Culturally, we're really instructed to invest emotions in objects. If there's some guilt at not spending enough time with the kids, parents look for a quick fix," says Lee Chasen, director of Kid Esteem in Babylon, N.Y., an organization that develops the emotional health and vitality of families through social skills workshops.

Parents may be tempted to compensate for their perceived failings by buying the kids whatever they want, especially at this time of year.

"Far too many parents try to prove they are good parents by being 'providers' rather than parents," says Billingham. "They think, 'See what a good parent I am because I provide all of these things for my children.'"

Where Can It Lead?
What effect can overindulgence have on kids? Parents of toddlers often think a pile of gifts bigger than their little one makes a great picture. They can always scale down next year, they figure. But a pattern can be hard to break.

"Overindulgence leads the child to develop a sense of entitlement: 'I am entitled to whatever it is I want,'" says Billingham.

He explains that the sense of entitlement is bad enough in childhood, but becomes even more serious in young adulthood, when it can be extended to relationships.

The first step in reversing the trend is examining why you buy into it. Maybe you felt deprived as a child? Are you feeling pressured by your child to keep up with the other parents on the block? Try to understand your child's motivation as well. More than likely, it is advertising and/or a desire to have what a friend has, the experts say.

Taming the “Gimmes”
To tame the "gimmes," set a dollar limit for holiday gifts and stick with it. Have your child make a prioritized list, with the understanding that she won't get everything. If your child wants a toy advertised on TV, take him to the store to check it out. Almost always, it's not as impressive as it appears on TV.

There is always the option of going cold turkey.

"Take one holiday season out of a lifetime and take a moratorium on holiday gifts," advises Chasen.

He suggests "spiritual" gifts, meaning gifts from the heart rather than the store. For instance, each member of the family can write a letter to every other member of the family, telling that person everything they love about them. Then the letters are exchanged as gifts.

Sometimes the problem is not the gifts, but the attitude toward them.

"The problem is we lose what a gift is supposed to be about," says Chasen.

He encourages each of his four children to express appreciation when opening gifts, acknowledging the time and thought that went into it. Even toddlers can be encouraged to show gratitude.

"This year, we will encourage Olivia to at least point to the person who gave her each gift," says Darcy Falcone. "We may even have her try on some of the outfits as she's opening them."

Kris Santafemia, a Glendale, N.Y., mom of two children ages 3 and 6, keeps a lid on excess while emphasizing the spiritual aspect of Christmas.

"The flood of gifts seems to increase as the boys grow," says Santafemia. "We decided that they would get three gifts each from us – the same number that Jesus received from the wise men."

To put the emphasis on giving rather than getting, Santafemia helps her boys weed through their toys and give some to the needy. This has become a day-after-Thanksgiving ritual.

"Often we find things that were barely touched, sometimes ones that were never even taken out of the box," she says.

And for those who think their child would never part with a thing, consider this. Last year, Santafemia broke with routine and gathered up the donations while her oldest was at school. He protested when he arrived home – because his mother didn't give enough away.

"First be an example yourself," says Donald Freedheim, professor of psychology and co-director of the Schubert Center for Child Development at Case Western Reserve University in Cleveland. "Don't indulge in material things to the extent that your children see how important things, like cars, gadgets, etc., are in your lives." That is so important, but often overlooked, he explains. "Many parents have no understanding themselves as to what they are doing when overindulging their children, or are trying to meet their own needs with excessive giving."

A good way to lessen the numbing effect of too many gifts all at once is to stagger them, experts say. Put some gifts away for a dismal day in January, and your toddler will no doubt react as if she were seeing them for the first time.

Relatives, especially grandparents, are notorious spoilers. The Falcones asked relatives to buy only one gift each for Olivia. Everyone intended to go hog wild, as Olivia was the first grandchild on both sides of the family. The Falcones patiently explained their logic: "Her wide eyes and her thrill at hearing paper rip will diminish over the years, but her expectations won't."

Their reaction? Darcy Falcone describes it bluntly.

"We were booed and hissed," she says.

If relatives must buy gifts, consider setting a dollar limit. If they really want to spend more, suggest they purchase savings bonds.

"Take a stand [with] the relatives," says Chasen. "If they insist on buying gifts, suggest they invest in music, creativity or science. For 30 dollars they can get a kid's microscope or a guitar."

Don't equate love with things.

"Some parents do use toys as substitutes for direct attention without even realizing it," says Freedheim. "The greatest gift you can give your child is time – and that will last much longer than the latest toy."

Want to see more?

• Holiday Headquarters
• Holiday Crafts: Gifts Kids Can Make Themselves
• Celebrate Hanukkah: Activities to Make, Play and Eat With Your Child
• The Bottom of the Toy Box: Ideas for Toys with Staying Power
• 'Twas the Night for Assembling
• Talk about it!

About the Author: Christina Vercelletto is a freelance writer living in New York.