June Cook, a mother of two boys, did not have a problem with her older son, Adam, 4, using his teeth as a natural weapon. However, Cook, of Tampa, Fla., had her hands full with her youngest son, Eric, 2, who often chose his brother as a prime victim.

Most toddlers bite when they are teething. Experts say parents need to be diligent to teach their toddler appropriate behavior before he turns into a social biter.

"Eric was more of a biter when he was teething," Cook says. "When he was about to cut a tooth, he would be more inclined to bite. Also, when he was learning to talk, out of frustration that he could not express himself with words to tell me 'That boy took my toy,' he would go over and bite him."

Cook is relieved her toddler outgrew biting. "Most of the time, I'd get right in his face and say, 'No biting,'" she says. "Sometimes I'd tap him on the mouth. A couple of times he bit me hard enough to break my skin. I showed him he hurt Mommy. Also, time-outs were pretty effective."

Managing Biters
Cook attends playgroups with a support group called Mothers and More. "In our group, we pretty much all understand kids go through these phases," she says. "Unless there is an excessive problem, if it's the occasional bite or push, we understand. We keep an eye on our kids. When we see something happen, we address it right away."

Experts say it is important for parents of toddlers to shadow their biting toddlers, always staying within arm's reach.

Karen Deerwester, a parent educator and early childhood specialist in Parkland, Fla., says one of the biggest mistakes parents make when it comes to dealing with a biter is forcing the child to apologize. "Parents should not insist that their toddler say he is sorry because he is not and he does not feel that,” she says. “But parents can teach the child about empathy and feeling sorry by the parent going to the other parent and saying, 'I'm really sorry.'"

At the same time, parents should not be dismissive about the event. "Even if the mother is a third-time mother and says, 'Toddlers will bite,' she needs to really pretend in terms of parenting etiquette," Deerwester says. "The parent of the biter has to show their remorse even though they should not insist that the child say it."

Deerwester, who is the founder of Family Time, Inc., suggests parents closely observe children between the ages of 12 to 18 months if they are biting their parents out of frustration. "A lot of times parents might say the toddler bites me or my husband and it doesn't hurt and it's OK, but you want to eliminate that from his behavioral repertoire before he moves into that 18- to 24-month age range," she says.

Parents often perpetuate the problem by making a big deal about the biter. A parent's No. 1 goal should be to intervene before the biting occurs. "Once the child starts biting, the action alone reinforces itself, because it feels really good to have your teeth in flesh," Deerwester says. "And chances are you got a really dynamic reaction from other children and you get a really theatrical reaction from adults."

Breaking Bad Habits
Since toddlers don't always have self-control and the ability to verbalize their thoughts, it's up to the parents to guide them. Anger and other emotional responses from an adult will not get the message across to the toddler.

When your child bites another child, respond in a calm manner. "Go immediately to the child who has been bitten and say, 'Oh, that hurts,' and comfort the child," Deerwester says. "Get ready with your ice, an anti-bacterial wipe and clean up the child and give a lot of attention to that child first. Then go to the other child, who has done the biting, and point to the child who is crying or injured and say, 'Look, he is sad. He is crying because you hurt him.'" Parents can also say to their biter in a serious tone, "I don't want you to bite."

Don't Bite Back
Some parents wonder whether they should bite back to discourage their toddler from biting. Deerwester discourages such a tactic. "The shock value of biting them back is like the shock value of spanking," she says. "Is it worth it? They have to learn all of the other things we are trying to teach them anyway, so why not invest ourselves in really teaching them what they need to know?"

Steve Yarris, a child psychologist in Brooklyn, N.Y., says toddlers are dealing with a bundle of impulses. Parents need to be especially patient during the trying toddler years as children are naturally curious and exploring their world. Parents do not want their children to internalize fears, guilt and resentment. "We are laying down the code for their future identity," Yarris says. "It may seem like an easy answer to be strict, but that's what the child internalizes and then they are afraid to enjoy their lives and live life fully."

Yarris advises parents to give their toddlers outlets for their aggression. "Before they are verbal it's a little harder," he says. "With one kid I worked with last week, I got the parents to buy a punching pillow. You have to give them a choice, an outlet."

Don't over-explain the matter to a toddler who is not yet verbal. "When they are verbal you can say, 'I understand you are angry. It's OK to say you are angry but I'm not going to let you do this,'" Yarris says. "These are often called the terrible twos, and that's because children are sort of learning there are rules they have to go by. Up until then they can do whatever they want. Kids think the world is their oyster."

Biting Victims
What if your child is the one who is being bitten on a regular basis by a biting bully? Deerwester advises parents to teach their toddler who has been bitten to say, "No, I don't like that," in their big, loud voice. Remember, toddlers do outgrow biting as they develop the verbal skills needed to express their feelings and thoughts. Parents should be patient but firm with their children if they are biters. If their child is the one being bitten, parents can teach her to stand up for herself. And remember to shower the attention on the one who is bitten so the biter realizes biting is not a way to become Mr. Popularity on the playground.

Want to see more?

• The Do's and Don'ts of Discipline
• Should Toddlers Be Spanked?
• Do Time-outs Work for Toddlers?
• Talk about it!