At 7:30 every night, 18-month-old Tanner Swift is nodding off to sleep in his crib, where he’ll doze contentedly until about 7 the next morning. After putting Tanner down, his mom Kim enjoys a late dinner and some time to herself. "Everyone tells me how lucky I am that he goes to bed early. But it’s not luck, it took hard work to get to that point and it takes work to stay there," says Kim, a 32-year-old nurse in Louisville, Ky.

But it’s important work, according to Dr. Will Wilkoff, author of Is My Child Overtired?

"In my experience, most parents seriously underestimate their children’s sleep needs," says Wilkoff, a pediatrician in Brunswick, Mn. "I’d say a day doesn’t go by that I don’t see a parent whose child has a sleep problem or a child that has a problem where sleep is a key issue – tantrums, hyperactivity, night terrors." Too often, he says, children are diagnosed with attention deficit disorders when the real problem is that they’re chronically sleep deprived.

In other words, "sleep is a health issue, plain and simple," according to Dr. Edward O’Malley, director of the Norwalk Hospital Sleep Disorders Center in Norwalk, Conn.

"You wouldn’t feed your children cups of sugar at dinner, and you shouldn’t let them decide their bedtime," says O’Malley, who is also father of a 3-year-old and 9-month-old. "They need the proper amount of sleep to be healthy, happy children – it’s a basic need, just like food and clothing."

OK, so your child shows the classic signs of not being well rested – you have to wake him in the morning, he falls asleep on the way to day care, he’s whiny, sucks his thumb a lot and has frequent tantrums. What can you do about it?

"You start by deciding when bedtime has to be, then you schedule around it," says Inda Schaenen, a St. Louis, Mo., mother of three and author of The 7 O’Clock Bedtime. "For us, that means no activities in the evenings, no computer games after dinner. I have to schedule my professional life around when my kids sleep. It’s not always easy, but I know it’s in the best interest of my children so we make it work."

After determining how much sleep your child needs and setting a bedtime, O’Malley suggests beginning the new routine on a weekend. Wake your child at a reasonable time so that he will be sleepy when the new bedtime rolls around. To make it easier, you may want to stagger that bedtime until it’s where you want it, he says. For example, put him to bed 15 minutes earlier than normal the first night and another 15 minutes earlier the following night. You may also have to adjust naptime in the same manner.

Another key, Schaenen says, is to develop a relaxing and enjoyable bedtime routine. "We cuddle, read a book, talk about the day. Some people light a candle, then blow it out when the story is over. You can create a really ritualistic and beautiful atmosphere."

Of course, once you get your child to sleep, keeping him there can be another story. In a study in the August 1994 edition of The Medical Journal of Australia, researchers reported that 49 percent of babies 12 months and under wake at least once or twice a night. Between the ages of 2 and 3, that number was still at 41 percent. The most common reason for those night wakings, according to the study, was one of the following: Pain due to teething or earaches; discomfort from being too cold, too hot, being thirsty or having a wet bed; separation anxiety; and not knowing how to fall back to sleep on their own.

Even with those night wakings, children and parents can get plenty of rest if they follow some tips from the American Academy of Family Physicians. For example, when you change or feed your baby, don’t turn the lights on or overstimulate him in other ways, and don’t let him sleep for large blocks of time during the day. Allow toddlers to take a favorite toy or blanket to bed with them; make sure the temperature is comfortable in their room; and leave a night-light on or the door ajar to make them feel safer.

Still, each family faces their own set of obstacles in being able to set and stick to bedtime schedules – maybe it’s that both parents work long hours, they have to drive long distances to day care or they have older children involved in extracurricular activities.

The experts say bedtime routines can still be managed, but it might take some creative solutions. For example, instead of cooking a full meal, make something quick and easy; if a family member or friend is caring for your child, ask them to give baths before you arrive; if older kids are involved in sports, have just one parent attend the games; take work home with you to finish after the kids are in bed instead of staying at work late. Other parents may have to consider more complicated solutions, like working part-time or even moving to a more central location.

"A lot of people tell me they don’t have strict bedtimes because they want to spend quality time with their kids," says 34-year-old Laura Gallant, mother of two, ages 2 and 4 in Stamford, Conn. "That’s fine, but I don’t think it’s fair to keep your child up late because of your hours. You have to find a pattern that works for you and your kids. My husband and I both work full-time and it’s not always easy, but you can have bedtimes and still have quality time. We just spend more time with our kids in the mornings and on the weekends."

In the process, you may be frustrated and doubt yourself, but Schaenen says to remember two things: "First of all, don’t feel guilty for creating an early bedtime – it’s the right thing to do. And secondly, the goal isn’t perfection, it’s to create a rhythm of family life that’s meaningful."

About the Author: Lisa Hurt Kozarovich is a freelance writer based in Indiana. She frequently writes about parenting, health and social trends for national magazines and newspapers.