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Expert Q&A
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| By Harriet S. Worobey, M.A. Early Childhood Educator Director, the Nutritional Sciences Preschool | ||
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What is the best way to handle toddler biting? Should I bite him back?
Most toddlers do not have the perspective to understand another person's feelings; they are totally egocentric! So biting him back will not really teach him this concept, and it also models inappropriate behavior. Ignoring the behavior is also not a good idea.
A child's bite can be a dangerous thing, both for other children and adults. And again, accepting the behavior would not be a good model for him. A time-out is also difficult with a toddler because he can't really understand the reasons and definitely can't discuss it with you.
There are several reasons that biting is prevalent among toddlers. Many of them are still teething, and it feels good to bite. Also, many toddlers cannot express their feelings in words. They become very frustrated and consequently bite.
Here are a few suggestions: First, protect the person being bitten from harm. Point out to your child what to do instead. Especially help the toddler with words such as: "I know you want the truck, but you may not bite." You can practice saying "My turn" or "I want the truck." Then make sure that he's successful at getting what he wants when he uses his words. If what he wants is not possible, try to give him two choices: "I know you want the truck, but your brother is playing with it now. Would you like to play with your airplane, or would you like to paint a picture?"
If you can anticipate that your toddler is about to bite, try to intervene and help him use his words. Patience is very important. Toddlers don't understand that biting is wrong. It is up to the adults in their lives to help them find positive alternatives.
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