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Expert Q&A
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| By John Dorsey, M.D. Pediatrician | ||
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My 3-year-old son bangs his head whenever he doesnŴ get his way. Should I be concerned?
Three-year old children have a lot of character and intensity. They can be obsessive/compulsive about what they want and their behavior to achieve that goal. They can be selfish in one sense and generous in another. It is a time of ambivalence. For example, you may ask your son if he wants butter on his toast and he'll say "No!" You may then ask if he wants his toast without butter and he'll still say "No!"
While there is little you can do in public places other than give into his head bumping, at home you can put a stop to this manipulative behavior. When he starts the head bumping, calmly tell him that if he doesn't stop it, he will be put in his room. He probably won't stop right here, especially if it is a pattern that has been developing. So, when he does it, take him by the hand and put him in his room. Tell him not to do that again and that he cannot come out for 10 minutes. No matter what he does, cry, scream, etc., set an egg timer and don't open the door for that 10 minutes. If he can open the door himself and comes out, walk him back in as many times as it takes and shut the door (but don't hold it shut). If he comes out put him back in. After 10 minutes (without re-setting the clock each time he comes out), go and bring him out. Tell him not to do that again or he will get another 10 minutes of room time.
It may take 10 or 15 times to make him stop doing the head bumping, but he should eventually realize that behavior is not going to be accepted and move on to another avenue of trying to get his way.
It is pretty common and nothing to be too concerned about unless he is doing it to the extent of hurting himself. If you still have concerns, don't be afraid to discuss it with your pediatrician on your next regular visit.
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