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Expert Q&A
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| By Kate Cohen-Posey Therapist | ||
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My 2-year-old has become very shy around people he doesn't know. I want him to know not to be scared just because he doesn't know them, but I also don't want to go against what I said about stranger danger. Any advice?
It's pretty easy for 2-year-olds to be shy. I wouldn't push too hard on this, and I would definitely not say he is shy. Putting that label on him might make it worse. I would normalize his behavior and say it is normal for 2-year-olds to want to feel comfortable until they get to know people. Predict that he might start feeling more comfortable in two weeks, two months or two years.
Then I'd gradually break down steps to help him get more comfortable. Much shyness comes from keeping your eyes down and not looking around. Just ask him silly questions like, "Who in the room is wearing red?" "Who is wearing glasses?" "Who has the lightest hair?" If you need to you might even build in rewards for answering questions like a Tic Tac, Pez or a sticker.
When he's a little older, tell him questions you might like to ask someone and find out what questions he might want to ask. It isn't important that he ask the question, just that he start to become curious about people. Eventually you might build in rewards for saying hello or asking someone a question, like how old their dog is.
Pet stores are wonderful places to help children with shyness because they are usually comfortable making contact with animals and then an understanding sales person might start a conversation with them. The important thing is to give this lots of time û like several years. Being a part of scouts or other activities where he'll build close friendships will play an important part.
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