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Expert Q&A
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| By Dana Chidekel, Ph.D. Clinical Psychologist Author | ||
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My 2-year-old daughter is being bullied by her 14-month-old cousin that is about the same size as her. Sometimes, the cousin will hit my daughter and pull her hair. My daughter will just stand there and cry. Although I want my daughter to stick up for herself, I do not want to encourage her to hit her cousin back. (This is what others have suggested.) What else can I do besides correcting the cousin in front of my daughter, which doesnŴ seem to work anyway?
I am wondering why, in your household, the 14-month-old is being given the opportunity to continually hit another child. Children of these ages cannot be playing independently while the grown-ups have coffee in the kitchen. This time is a time in a childų life that you are beginning to teach social skills. It is a time for intensive supervision, and is it is a time you need to take advantage of to go on record about what constitutes acceptable and unacceptable social behavior. Iŭ not talking about reasoning with these children. Iŭ talking about intense, physically active supervision.
I suggest that you and the mother of the cousin sit in close proximity to the children when theyŲe playing -- and get ready to intervene. This means physically preventing the 14-month-old from hitting or pulling him out of proximity to the 2-year-old while saying ôNo!ö when he goes to hit. In addition to limiting childrenų destructive behaviors, it is important to instruct them on various ways that it is appropriate for them to interact. Also, with children of this age, play sessions should be time-limited.
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