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Expert Q&A
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| By Harriet S. Worobey, M.A. Early Childhood Educator Director, the Nutritional Sciences Preschool | ||
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Do certain forms of discipline work better at certain ages (i.e. time-outs, swats, loss of privileges)?
Certain forms of discipline are not appropriate at all, such as hitting a child. Since discipline is teaching, what are you teaching your child by hitting him or her? You are teaching your child that you are bigger and stronger than your child and that you will make him or her obey you by using violence. Will you be happy when your child uses that same strategy on a younger child or a handicapped child or an animal? Hitting a child also makes a child very angry. Since the child canŴ let that anger out on you, it will bottle up and explode sometime later, probably again on someone more vulnerable. Think about yourself as a role model before you hit a child, and then donŴ do it!
ôTime-outö is an over-used term for well-meaning adults who like to think that they are not punishing their children. Often what happens is that an adult will send a child to his/her room to ôthinkö about their infraction, saying that the child can come out when he or she agrees with the adult. If the adult and child really take the opportunity to honestly discuss feelings, actions and consequences, with both having a chance to give input, then a time-out can be a learning experience. This is certainly something that can be started with preschoolers.
As children get older, you can start with loss of privileges, but they must directly relate to the misbehavior. The consequences must flow from the childų action. ôIf you throw sand, then you canŴ play in the sandbox.ö They also must be of a reasonable duration; as children mature, they can better understand time. ôIf you throw sand, then you canŴ play in the sandbox for the rest of playtime,ö but not take away the sandbox for a month.
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