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February 27, 2003
2/26/03
I just want the cold weather to go away and be able to go outside with the kids. I can’t wait to have all the windows in the house open and just feel the clean fresh air. Sounds a bit sappy I know, but I have been pretty much confined to the house with 3 to 6 kids all winter long. I want to go outside and let the kids run their energy off. Kids are so much fun to watch as they play on the swing set and explore all the weeds and bugs. Plus, I am thinking of starting a garden this spring and letting the kids help me out. I do not have a clue about Gardening so anyone who is willing to give up some secrets and tips I would be so grateful. I think having a garden would be a perfect way to get the kids into an activity we can tend to each day and they will see how the plants grow. Plus it will save me money! *wink* I attempted to start one last year, and got about as far as roping off what part of the yard I wanted the garden in and that’s about it. :O) This year I am thinking of starting with Cucumbers, Tomatoes, green beans some herbs and maybe a pumpkin for the kids. Does this sound reasonable?
Lets see….what is new in the world of bakshaville??
*Alec*
Well, Alec is starting to really test the limits and is into throwing full fledge screaming fits. I swear it is as though some other child comes in his body and acts out. My sweet mild mannered boy could not possible be acting this way? Ugh.. I think this partially has to do with him skipping naps every other day and he is just plain tired. I can’t pinpoint one awful tantrum as they have all ran together in the last couple of days. Trust me when I say, he is totally fitting the stereotype of a “Terrible two toddler” now. I have been taking things in stride though and telling myself he is just testing his independence… this is a good thing and I need to go along with it. As hard as it is I have been gritting my teeth and walking away instead of feeding into the tantrum. I really thought that I was going to skip this stage with Alec. Oh well.. life goes on. We may be making little baby steps towards potty training again though and I trying very hard to stay as un-excited about the process as possible so that I don’t have room to get disappointed again. The last couple of days Alec will come up to me and say “Mommy, I have to poop…(grunt grunt)” I will say “ Do you want to go on the potty??” He will say “No, not now “grunt grunt” But at least he is telling me he is going. He knows the sensation of when he is going then he immediately wants me to change his diaper. He then watches me as I dump it in the toilet. He then gets to flush and say “Bye Bye Poops” Baby steps right???
Alec is really not showing any interest in learning his letters or colors and following along with the preschool program I do with the other kids. He kind of scribbles on his paper and will participate when he wants to. I am not going to push it ,after all he is ONLY 2. I will mention again that his vocabulary for his age is amazing though and he is talking in full sentences that people can understand. Many people have made comments that he is so easy to understand is talking so well. I think this has happened because he is with older children all day long. He just picked up on the words so quickly. This is another reason I am somewhat confused by his tantrums. He has no problems expressing his needs or wants and is very clear on letting you know what is on his mind. I have read several articles that say that on of the reasons 2 year olds have tantrums is because they have a hard time communicating.
Joe and I were planning on taking the kids to the Shed Aquarium downtown this weekend but when we looked up the admission prices we nearly peed our pants! It would have cost us over $60.00 to get in if we wanted to see the Dolphin show ( How can you go to the Shed Aquarium and NOT see the Dolphins!?) .That is just not something we could fit into our tight budget right now because on top of that $60.00 we would have to add another 30-40 for dinner as we promised the kids dinner at the best Pizza place in the world. :O) ( Yes Allisun,,, I still say Chicago has the BEST pizza in the world *wink) I was really looking forward to taking Alec there because he LOVES fish so much and it is my favorite museum downtown. I think we may just do down to Navy Pier and take the kids to the Children’s museum.
*Autumn*
Autumn is doing much better with her social skills and has been much nicer to *G* the daycare child that comes over to play. I have noticed she is taking extra steps to share her toys with her. It must have been a short phase she was going through with *G*
She is however, turning into a little Miss Nosey girl. She has to know everything that is going on with everyone and loves to tattle now. I don’t have to worry about telling Joe about anything the boys did during the day because Autumn tells him as he is taking his shoes off at the front door when he walks in. There have been a couple occasions where Joe and I have had to reprimand her on this and explain that this is not a nice thing to do to people. I still don’t think she has quit grasped the concept and continues to be in everyone’s business. Any help on stopping this would be appreciated.
***Religious Content***
Autumn has a wonderful love for learning more about God. She loves to listen to sermons with me on the radio and she asks TONS of questions. She just soaks up all the information we give her and I am so inspired by her.
I was listening to a sermon on the Christian radio station the other day while driving home from my sil’s house. Autumn was listening very carefully in the back seat and when the man was talking about someone doubting the Lord Autumn said " Mommy, God NEVER lies and nobody should ever doubt him! " I was so proud of her for picking up on that! After that comment I started to think about weather or not I should have a talk to her about accepting Jesus Christ as her Savior and walking her through the steps of being saved? I do not know if she is to young for this or how to even go about it. I have been toying with the idea of sitting down and talking to her and Jt( 6) and explaining what it is to be saved. I would not push them in any way. If anyone has helpful insight or experience with this please share.
*Jt*
My relationship with Jt has yet again weighed heavily on my mind the past couple of days. I am constantly wondering why he has almost no respect for what I say to him. He will NOT listen to what I ask of him unless it is on his own terms or he feels like doing it. He talks back constantly and everything seems to be a battle. Some people say it is because I bicker back at him and continue the argument, then others say I give in to him. Well, he protests everything I askhim to do, therefore I need to ask him again or get up and try to make him do what I asked. This continues the bickering, but if I back down then he wins and I am giving in. If I have my hands full or daycare parents over getting their kids I can not stop what I am doing and physically make him do what I ask of him and he thrives on this. He knows he will win and my hands are tied. CONSTANT NEVER ENDING battles with him. I just don’t get what I am doing wrong. His dad will come home and he will behave and listen to everything he says. This just adds fuel to the fire and makes me mad. Simply said…Mad.
****later during the day****
Well, I brought up my concerns with Jt to my life Coach and we discussed at length about what I was feeling. I am so happy that I did discuss this with her and feel that I may have some solutions. Jt thrives on feeling important and grown up and after doing some brainstorming I came up with some ideas we can try out. I am going to type up a contract for J.T. and I. He is going to pick his punishments for certain behaviors and we will put all the rules of our house in the contract. We will go over it with J.T and he will sign it. Hopefully, this will make him feel very important and whenever I am struggling with him I can point out the contract and tell him we have an agreement. I also have come to the conclusion that I have to start picking my battles a little better and not be so tough on him. There are times when every little thing he does just sets me off and I get frustrated therefore, he gets in trouble for every little boy behavior. I love my little boy so much and want nothing but the best for him, that includes a great relationship with his mom. I am tired of going to bed in tears and thinking about what I did wrong that day. I am tired of looking into his huge blue eyes and thinking…”Why can’t he just be good for me? “ He deserves everything life has to offer him and I am going to make it my goal to help him get that and be the best young man he can be. We have this statement hung in our home and I make sure to read it at least once a day.
Household Rules*~
*Trustworthiness*
*Respect*
*Responsibility*
*Fairness*
*Caring*
*Citizenship*
**Television**
About a year ago I was very successful in almost totally eliminating tv in the children’s schedule. They hardly even looked at the TV and when they did it was for a movie on the weekend. Joe and I would tape our programs and watch them after the kids went to bed. Well, I am sad to say that winter came and we are back to watching much more tv then I would like. The kids watch a half hour-45 minutes in the morning and then I sometimes (about twice a week) let them watch another ½ hour video while I am making lunch. This, I am okay with and don’t have a problem with them watching this amount of TV. It is after the daycare kids leave that we run into problems. I find that Joe and I are trying to make dinner, doing homework with Jt, or housework and the kids are left to watch TV again. Not to mention Joe and I have gotten sucked into a couple of the reality shows that are thankfully over with now and we were sitting around watching those while the kids were still up. My goal for next week is to take little steps to getting back where we were before. This week’s goal is to not turn the TV on in the evening until the kids go to bed. Next week I will take away the morning tv. I have my fingers crossed that this will work. My next move….is my computer time. Gulp. That one will be really hard for me.
***Disney Vacation***
In a couple short months we will be headed Sunny Florida for our long family vacation. I can’t wait for this trip although I do have one little thing that is holding me back. In fast it is holding me back from my trip out by Allisun as well. I am TERRIFIED of flying! I have been having nightmares the last two weeks about boarding on the plane to Florida and having terrible things happen ( I will not go into details about this… just let your mind run wild on this one). I tried to talk Joe into driving down there and we were almost about to do it and then just reality sunk in and adding an extra 4 days to 10 day trip was foolish and I can’t let Jt miss that much school. I have always been scared of flying and the fear just doubled after 9-11. I know that the fear will heighten as we get close to the day so be prepared to hear more about it.
Now on to the vacation plans…wooohooo. We are going to start our trip in Disney World and will stay there for three days. Joe is so cute and has an agenda and plan as to what we are going to do each day. I really look forward to the Polynesian Luau the second night we are there. After the chaos of Disney with three young children, we are meeting up with my parents. Then we will drive to Port Canaveral and go on the Disney week long Cruise. I have not been on a cruise since I was in high school and can’t wait to just relax and take in the sun. Now, I am sure that a cruise with children is a totally different experience but I am sure we will have fun. The ONLY hang up about the cruise is that Alec will not yet be three and can’t participate in any of the children programs. So we would have to get the babysitting service if we want to do anything childless (is that a word??LOL ) . The catch to this is, you have to get to the child care room as soon as you get on the boat and reserve time-slots . I am sure the line will be a nightmare and I am questioning if it will be worth it. I have to admit though, that I do crave some time alone with my husband on a beautiful cruise ship on one of the days we are sea and do not leave the ship. The schedule for the cruise is to leave Port Canaveral then to Key West, day at sea, Grand Cayman, Cozumel, day at sea, Castaway Cay, and then we port.
I guess I have rambled on enough this entry! Hopefully, several of you will have something to share with my on my TTM board. I have ceartinly asked enough Questions this time around. LOL
~Tanya B~
There are two ways to live your life,
One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as though everything is a miracle
~God Bless~
Here's To The Fathers...
Here's to the fathers,
who always begin, on the outside of children,
but looking in.
Such curious men snapping cameras like mad,
recording the moment,
they turn into "Dad."
Here's to the fathers, who put in their time,
who don't say to mother's 'that's your job, not mine'.
Who wipe chins and noses and never say "won't"
who do with the diapers,
what some fathers don't.
Here's to the fathers who manage to stay
when so many fathers are turning away.
When so many run, leaving families to
rot, here, then, a cheer, for those
who do not.
Here's to the fathers whose big money dreams,
die in the comer while their baby screams.
And yet without anger, dread or regrets,
they comfort the child, hold it close to their chests.
And as the child grows, they grow with it too,
learning a depth that they never knew.
And soon they are older,
their hair slightly gone,
chasing two children around the front lawn.
Or carpooling teams to Little League games,
buying them hamburgers after it rains.
They mend broken dolls and fix broken wheels,
they cringe when their daughters,
try their first pair of heels.
They reach in their pockets, but never keep count,
they pay dear for parenthood awful amounts
They postpone their plans to sail across seas,
instead they sing "Barney" and bandage skinned knees.
Here's to the fathers who get off the phone,
to hear their sons practice their new saxophone
Who leave work to see their daughter's recital
Here's to the heroes,
who work without title.
For this is a world now full of neglect,
with everyday stories of lives
that are wrecked.
Of fatherless children who take up with guns
to kill other children of fatherless sons.
Divorce shattered families,
childhood's derailed,
mothers still waiting for checks still un-mailed
You wonder what wrongs these souls ever did
to make a grown man
turn away from his kids.
So here's to the fathers who won't compromise
who see a light shining in their children's eyes
And feel a rare glow as if from a gem
and know that once someone
saw this glow in them.
For all the good boys they have raised in the world
for all the examples they set for their girls
For all the loved children whose stories they'll tell
Here's to the father's that
taught them so well.
Mitch Albom Sunday, June 16, 1996 The Detroit News
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