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January 18, 2003
*Autumn telling me I need to exercise/dieting*
Last night I was doing some laundry upstairs and when I came down stairs I saw Autumn glued to the tv and had this half smile on her face. When I walked over to the tv to see what she was watching I started laughing and said “Autumn, why are you watching an exercise infomercial?” She looked at me with a very serious stern look on her face and said “Mommy, you really should get this to help you loose weight!, I want to look like those girls when I grow up…they look like barbies.” I did not know weather to cry because my daughter was telling me I was fat or feel guilty because my daughter has been watching me obsess with my weight the last couple of months. Does she really think I am fat or has that been put in her head by me? I say I am fat, however I am not really. I mean, I feel fat compared to what I used to be but I am just chunky? I don’t want my daughter to EVER obsess on her weight and I feel terrible that I may be putting thoughts of weight issues in her head at such a young age. *sigh* I need to stop talking about my weight around her. Why is being THAT skinny so important to everyone? Society has made it so difficult for young girls and women to feel good about themselves if they are not toothpick thin!
I am not trying to loose weight to try and fit in better with society or to even be REALY thin. I just want to live a little healthier and trim down a couple sizes to be healthier. I have been doing the slim fast thing for the last two weeks and I have to say that it really works for me. I actually like the chocolate shakes in the blender, with 5 ice cubes. I plan to get some of the snack bars this week and try them. I have not seen results yet, however I know I am not eating nearly as much as I used to and I have been taking in OVER my daily requirements for water. This week I plan to start on a more strict exercise program that I can stick to. I know that some people say that slim fast is not the way to go.I have learned that for myself it works best because it prevents me from picking at food all day which is my biggest problem…so for now I will stay with it and take my vitamins and eat plenty of fruits and veggies. :o)
*Autumns Birthday*
My baby girl will soon be 5!? (February 17th) I really can’t believe how fast she has grown into such a beautiful little person. She just loves life and is very quick witted. The other day she was sitting in the living room and was acting all silly she said, “Mommy, if I didn’t have a mommy and daddy I could do whatever I want!” I said “Well Autumn, how would you get a house or food?” Without even flinching she responded with “ I would talk to God and he would help provide. All you have to do is trust in the Lord.” I stood mouth wide open at her response. What could I say? I just smiled and gave her a big hug.
For her birthday Autumn has requested that we go downtown to the American Girl doll store and eat lunch at the special restaurant they have. She is extremely excited about this and has already picked out what she would like to wear that day. Lol. While we are there we will let her pick out another couple outfits for all her dolls and I think her Oma and Pupa are going to get her the blonde Kit American girl doll. Then that’s it for a while on the doll stuff I think.
*Jt going over to *Z*’s house/ Prayer requests*
Yesterday, when *z*’s mom came to pick him up she asked if Jt could come over for a couple of hours. Jt was excited to go and it was cute to see *z* get excited about it. Jt had a really good time over there and from what I heard he was very well behaved and even picked up after himself without being told. It is nice to hear that Jt is such a good kid for other people at thier homes. When I struggle at home with him I get so frustrated and then when I hear things like that , I feel good about what I am doing. Jt really is a great loving kid. He is so good with the little ones and it really helps out.
I really like *z*’s mom and I would like to be friends with her and try to get together and talk with her other then when she is picking up *z*. She seems like a nice honest person and I think we could become really good friends. She was having some Braxton hick contractions this week and the Dr thinks she will have to be put on bed rest soon. If anyone reading this could keep her in their prayers I would appreciate it… Speaking of prayer requests, I have another one. My best friend from childhood has just found out she is pregnant with TRIPLETS! Now, this girl I must tell you is about 5 foot 2 and at the most weighs 95 pounds. She is this little thing and is anticipating some complications due to her body structure carrying 3 babies. The Dr’s remain hopeful however; I am still praying like crazy for her and those babies and would appreciate if other would as well. Thank you
**Ricks birthday party**
Tonight Joes best friend is having a 30th birthday party with the old group. He is the first of the group to turn 30 so this is a HUGE event. LOL Next year it will be Joe who is 30 and we(Joe, myself Rick and his girlfriend) plan on going to Vegas if money issues allow us to do so. I am anticipating some awkward moments tonight as there is a past with myself and one of the people who will be there. The only reason I am going is because Rick is a good friend of ours and Joe really wants me to be with him at this party. I think the two of them think it is going to be like old times… reality tells me differently. I do not want to sound like a snob here ( but probably will anyway) but this will be a very different crowd then what we normally hang out with now. Joe best described it as going from Khakis and Lowenbrau’s(sp) to ripped up t-shirts and miller lights. I am in NO WAY saying one is better then the other… I am just saying that we are not going to have much in common with a lot of the people there. We are married (nobody else is) have kids, Joe works in the corporate world now, we go to church every Sunday and live our lives for the Lord and our kids. All we will have to talk about is the past… and unfortunately, there are parts of the past that I would rather avoid bringing up. I will do my best to have a good time and I will be sure to update on it.
*Potty training*
What Potty training? Ugh… I tried, I really did this week and it ended with Alec crying and saying “No potty mommeeeeeeee NO potty!” I don’t want to traumatize the child and have him not potty train until he is 6 so I did not force him. He did so well a few months ago and I really thought he was going to train soon. Stomp stomp stomp on that idea. I am looking forward to see how potty training goes for other diary writers and their two year olds. Maybe they can shed some light on my dilemma here. Alec loves to wear his underwear and walk around the house in it. He will sit on the potty a couple of times but then when he has an accident he gets mad and refuses to sit on the potty again.:o(
SNOW
We woke up this morning to find snow had covered everything while we were sleeping. Woohooo Maybe there is a possibility of building a snowman this weekend!? I have been dying to do so all winter long. We got a cute Snowman kit from Lands End that I have been itching to use.
Well I better run!
God Bless
Tanya
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