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December 17, 2001
Okay, here’s the thing: Lars and I were planning to attend this fancy black-tie dinner party (which I was desperately looking forward to) on Friday night, but both twinners got sick and were up all night Thursday, so I was on the phone at 8:01 a.m. Friday morning (when their doctor’s office switches their answering machine off) and I scored the first two appointments of the day. Yes! So, there was still hope of fixing what ailed the little ones and hitting the bash. We’d paid lots of money to attend, and I had a new dress, and I was, well, looking forward to a little adult conversation, bubby beverages and general holiday cheer without anyone tugging on my leg and demanding “UP!”
But little did I realize that I was about to spend THREE hours at the doctor’s office and then bombard the pharmacy with seven (yes, SEVEN) prescriptions for my little guys.
Luckily Jake and Tommy didn’t have anything contagious, since we’d been at our twinner playgroup the previous day, but here’s what they did have:
--Both boys had two meds each for asthma. Yep, Tommy is now a formal inductee into the Johansen boys’ asthma hall of fame, poor twinner-pie.
--Jake also had to go on an oral steroid for his asthma.
--Tommy had penicillin for pneumonia (how in the %$#* did he get that?).
--And, finally, Jake had penicillin for an ear infection.
Whew. Luckily, Laurel and Ashley accompanied us to the doctor and they were a huge help, as usual.
The pharmacist looked exhausted after filling our prescriptions, and he didn’t laugh at my joke that I needed a frequent prescription card with free-flight rewards. I thought it was pretty funny, but then I was on the verge. The verge of what you ask? Don’t ask.
So, of course Lars and I didn’t go to the party because I wasn’t about to leave my sick kiddos with a baby-sitter. Honestly, I wanted to, yes, but I am proud to say I curbed that unmotherly impulse and stayed home with them to rock them and hold them and try not to pull out my hair. As you can imagine they were quite grumpy, and not apt to enjoy taking any of the seven prescriptions that would (hopefully) restore peace to our household.
The meds eventually kicked in and after one more doctor’s visit (Jake needed another antibiotic to blast his ear infection) things are returning to normal. Or, as normal as they get around here. Those twinners have figured out that lipstick is the greatest plaything, and especially interesting to rub into the cream-colored carpet. After a $300 carpet cleaning job I hid all my lipsticks but, of course, they found one. Where? Where? I don’t know but they ground it into the carpet again causing Lars to have a near coronary and me an excellent rendition of an apoplectic fit.
Anyway, the two of them are now clear on the fact that lipstick and our carpet better not meet again. I used three cans of carpet cleaner, and most of it is out, but I was too tired to tackle the lipsticked carpet in their room, but hey, I guess they (obviously) like that look, so amoebalike carpet is going to have to do for now.
Our biggest challenge today is that the boys are glued to me--you know when your kids are sick, and you feel sorry for them, and you hold them all day and cater to their whims, even though you know you’ll regret it later? Well, that’s what I did. And now the twinners are thinking, hey, this holding thing is great, why tax my little tootsies and walk when I can be carted wherever I wish? Huge fits ensue if they are not accommodated as Prince Tommy and His Highness Jakey.
Hopefully they'll be fit for public display again soon because I need to get OUT OF THIS HOUSE. Actually, Laurel and Ashley just got here and they’re staying with us until Friday so I am in luck. I’m off to run errands, which I’m looking forward to with great anticipation. Yes, I know, it’s a little pathetic, but I’m smiling as I type this. I’m going to get into my car and blast the Celline Dion Christmas CD and sing like a diva (it’s okay, the volume is so high no poor innocent bystander can hear me) and I’m not coming hope until my kids are tucked snug in their beds by Ashley. I’d chat longer but I gotta go--freedom beckons…
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