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November 13, 2001
The twinners are, well, attempting to drive me out of the house and down the road screaming! They're obviously running surveillance ops on me. Tommy the Tsunami and Jake the Earthquake watch my office door, and if I accidentally leave it open they make sure I’m occupied and then slip inside, climb onto my desk and attack my fax machine with pens, CDs, and paper clips.
TWIN TERRORS
My
And they’ve reconfigured my Windows screen twice—moving the status bar to the right hand side of the screen and making me crazy because I couldn’t fix it. Lars couldn’t fix it either. It took 13-year-old Laurel SEVEN separate steps to fix the screen and Jake and Tommy reconfigured it again the next day.
Coincidence or deliberate sabotage by my innocent-looking Twinner-pies? You be the judge.
And worse was yet to come.
Yesterday I was putting laundry away upstairs when I heard this huge CRASH/SMASH in the kitchen. I ran down the stairs. Tommy had moved the barstool across my kitchen, climbed it, ventured onto the desk below my china cabinet, and was standing there dropping my crystal wine glasses on the hardwood floor, where they shattered. And he was grinning from ear-to-ear. Jake was no innocent either; he was egging Tommy on with applause.
Yep, I was pretty mad. But luckily for Tommy I was distracted by concern for his safety. He was standing on the edge of the counter five feet above the ground and there was broken glass covering the floor. I grabbed him and Jakey and shut them in my office while I cleaned up the mess. Grrr!
And guess what they did in the office while I was cleaning up the remains of my once-prized Waterford crystal? Yep, they stormed my fax machine and reconfigured my computer. Again. (Pause , while I attempt to regulate my blood-pressure.)
Okay, so the little guys were in the dog house, and you’d think (wouldn’t you?) that they’d be on their best behavior today. No such luck. Today they dropped one of those #$%!!& snow globes on my hardwood floor. Of course it shattered, even though it was made of thick plastic, and I’ve been scrubbing up oil and sparkly things all day. I’ll probably still be doing so when they go to college.
That’s why…the twins are up for adoption. Any takers?
I didn’t think so. Sigh. Stay tuned to see what the Tsunami and Earthquake are up to next week. I’m afraid, very afraid.
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