Kelly's Diary Entries Diary Navigation: Choose A Diary Entry -------------------- Latest Entry: 6/21/00 -------------------- 6/15/00 6/6/00 5/24/00 5/10/00 5/3/00 4/25/00 4/18/00 4/12/00 4/6/00 3/29/00 3/22/00 3/15/00 3/8/00 3/1/00 2/23/00 2/16/00 -------------------- Kelly's Introduction

May 24, 2000

These past weeks have been very stressful and bothersome for us mainly due to the fact that Aaron’s contract is coming to an end and there is still no sign of extension. We have been reviewing our options in the light of this situation but then again I never realized how much it has affected myself and how I must have passed it on to poor Orion until today. As I mentioned before in my previous entry, Orion started having these "holding the stool" bouts. Since that time, it has been an on and off thing but it really got me "madly" worried from yesterday because he hasn’t pooped in the last 7 days. The key word missing in my system (because of all the stress we are going through) is "PATIENCE". Well, to be honest it has never been my virtue but when the impact on Orion became an "ORDEAL" for him, I am the guiltiest mother in the world!

I must have been so hard on my son and I admit that my fuse was short. I didn’t pay him much attention during the day and just relied on Yani to keep him occupied. I was always on the phone or sorting through files or typing away in the computer. After Yani goes, I feel so tired and drained to play with him and actually just end up leaving him alone to amuse himself. These must have been "traumatic" changes for Orion in terms of my relating to him, as I was his "original playmate". So today, after the word "PATIENCE" finally sank into my conscience, I tried to "make my peace" with him. The "poop" problem was my priority for today. Everything else that I had planned to do, I dropped and concentrated on him. He responded right away to my "availability" and again I felt so bad that I had made him feel "distant" to me. It was a long process of waiting and coaxing while I keep repeating "I love you" and "I’m sorry for making you feel neglected" while I seated him in his potty. It was really pure "SUFFERING" for him that lasted for 3 hours. He was crying in pain, frightened, straining so hard to the point that he threw up. Just imagine what agony this was for a 22-month old! Through prayers and "PATIENCE", it paid off and hopefully; he’ll have a relaxed sleep tonight (and would be so for Aaron and I).

So with this positive result for a major worry, I am now more wary of being "too absorbed" in our other "problems". My focus now will be our departure from Jakarta on Sunday and the endless packing beforehand. Orion and I will leave for Manila ahead of Aaron and the following day after we leave, the movers will then pack and ship all our household effects. We are moving to our new place in Manila and that’s another concern. Anyway, one worry at a time. All these changes, I know mean "more adjustments" for Orion. And there will be varying manifestations. I only hope that with the "bitter experience" above, I will keep my son’s interest and welfare as my utmost priority.

See you next week.

From Indonesia,

* Filipino Welcome, literally means Long Live.

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