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Home › Diaries › Kelly › February 16, 2000

Kelly's Diary Entries

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February 16, 2000

The Irony of Things

Orion and I arrived back in Jakarta last month after eight months of absence. So for five weeks now, it has been a hectic pace of adjustments, adjustments and more adjustments, for both of us -- the house, the bed, the food, the faces, toys, activities and the situation. Orion has done really well, just occasional bouts of constipation and colds. Other than that, he just keeps on growing and never ceases to amaze both his Papa and me.

Since I am still a domesticated mother, our first month here was a routine of Orion and me all day together and with a maid that keeps the house while Aaron is at work. The first few weeks were okay, there were actually days that went by fast enough, but as it stretched out I find myself being worn out by this active toddler. He suddenly forgot how to walk -- it was and still is, "Run, Mama, run" or "Tago-Seek" (Hide and Seek. He's got 3 languages at the moment -- English, Filipino and Bahasa) Since we have quite a spacious house (the perks of expat life), there's plenty of room for him. Well, I felt that this wasn't a healthy situation anymore, because my patience level was running low and my own ears echo with "Don't touch that! Don't eat that! Get down! Stop that! Don't give your hand to the dog!" etc, etc.

So I finally talked to Aaron about this and complained that I can't even sit on the computer without him climbing up on me and shoving to my face his CDs, "Mama, play Teddy (or Dr. Seuss)." Even when going for a nap, I have to be with him -- or else he'll wake up and cry. Well, I end up napping, not that I don't welcome it, but there are a thousand things that I want to do like my sewing, gardening, write friends, read the newspaper or even pee! Guess my husband was just too "nice" (or too stressed with me) that he conceded to having a live-out nanny for Orion, provided that I swing it in the monthly budget. Whew, what a welcome relief!

We are fortunate to be in a country that provides for "available cheap labor". (Well, look at it this way, we as guest residents are also helping the local economy.) So anyway, I conducted the interviews and finally took in Yani, a 40-ish mother of two and with some conversational English. To date, she's been with Orion for 8 days, stays from 7:30 a.m. till 4:30 p.m. Her main responsibility is basically to keep Orion occupied so that I can have time to do the thousand things that I claimed I want to do. Well again the "weaning from Mama as playmate" was not instant. However, today, I saw the irony of myself.

As any regular day, Yani did her part with Orion -- gave him breakfast, bath, his milk -- but he still stuck to Mama. So after some distraction, I was able to sneak away from his sight to do my "stuff." After my shower, I was expecting Orion to be frantically looking for me but he wasn't. So I went into the garden and said to myself, "Hey I can do this now." In the same breath, "Oh, it's too hot. I want to play with Orion first." I could hear him giggling and clapping from the living room and suddenly my heart cringed that he was actually enjoying himself without me. A friend called and I said that, "You might want to go window shopping because I'm so bored!" When I put down the phone, I realized what I just said and, "Hey stupid, didn't you have 1001 things that you want to do and never had the chance! Now that your son has finally settled in with Yani, what are you complaining about again?!"

I felt sad. I could still hear Orion shrieking in the background. Even when I passed him a couple of times, he was oblivious, so what did I do -- "Run, Orion, run, Mama will catch you!" Oh no, we won't give up Yani (she's been a gem), it's me really, I have to make up my mind. I think Orion understands, because went I put him to bed tonight, he said "Mama, come", took my arm and wrapped it across him as he fell asleep.

Have a good week. Our stories coming up -- visits to the zoo, new playgroup, meeting people, growing up with Papa and Jaga, the Rottweiler and more.

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