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July 28, 2000

Sorry for the absence, all, but finals start next week. The "terrible two's" have really started to kick in. Insanity is waving at me from down the street. In time, I know that all this will pass, but right now it seems like bad times will be here forever. Sometimes I think how do I do this? And then I will turn around and say, hey you've got it easy. Next door to me is a pregnant 16-year-old girl. I never really talked to her until tonight. Our puppy escaped and ran into her yard. She carried it back home, and I invited her in. I asked her how the pregnancy was going, and she said she was due in 2 weeks. I swear this girl looked about 5 months max. She is obviously not getting enough to eat. Her and I started talking and she was asking me a million questions about labor and childbirth. She then started pouring out her woes right there in my kitchen. It seems that the father wants her out of his house so he can move his new girlfriend in, and her mom kicked her out when she got pregnant. She is getting prenatal care, thank goodness. The boys mom is an alcoholic and she is afraid that when she goes in, there will be no safe way to get to the hospital. I told her that if I was not home, to call 911 right away. The whole time this talk was going on, I was cooking. She was eyeing the food, so I invited her to stay. She said she could not, and left. I was so ashamed. How could I whine about my bank balance when something like that is happening next door. My family has enough to eat, a roof, electricity, water. Let me tell you, every time I feel a whine coming on, I am going to look next door and think about that little girl. I am grateful for the things I have now. I know Cat will have milk and food tomorrow, but will her baby? A mother is a mother, weather she is sixteen or forty, and I know that that mother is going to cry, worry, and possibly lose her child to the state, no matter how much she loves it, even if she loves it as much as we do our own children. And I know that this mother will never again take for granted the fact that I will never have to face that.

Until Next time, Kahne and Cat, 19 months