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October 19, 2003
Hi, everyone. Sorry it has taken awhile to post. It has been a rollercoaster for me for the last two weeks. Maddie was really sick for about a week. She had a high fever, rash, and didn't eat any food for three days. Once she got this rash she started having meltdowns, temper tantrums, she stopped listening and overall terrible behavior. I'd like to believe that it was all a result of being sick or starvation and probably some of it can be attributed to that, but she still acted terribly. Frequently I had to leave stores with her and I felt like I no longer had the upper hand in her behavior. I can't believe how frustrating that is. The pepper thing was not a deterrent for her anymore and she was challenging me and being defiant. So, after one tantrum I really felt like the only way to get through to her was to spank her. Still, I can't bring myself to do it. I'm afraid to for a lot of reasons. But if I'm going to do it I can't be angry, and I always am when she acts like that. So, please don't think I'm horrible but I made her sit on the step in the garage. It's pretty empty and it's not dark or anything. After three times of that, my sweet Maddie returned.
During all of this, Emma's nap schedule shifted and they were napping in shifts. They both take a nap at 2pm and I get a few hours to myself. Well, when they were napping in shifts, I had not even one minute to myself. I told my husband he was atleast getting the car ride to and from work to be alone. I was a mess. I was frustrated with Maddie. I know that I probably shouldn't be complaining for a host of reasons, but I wanted to feel like I was in control of something so I stopped going to the gym, going online, I don't think I did any laundry or made dinner for a few days. Sounds silly to write that down, but it was true.
Then Maddie got better, Emma's nap schedule returned to normal (she was getting up at 5 and then falling back to sleep around 6 or 6:30) so I just started getting up earlier with her before she fell back to sleep. So, I felt much more relaxed and patient and ready to put this all behind me.
So, it's been pretty nice. We visited my in-laws today in NJ. Maddie had a blast, she always does. I finished all of my kid Christmas shopping. Both Maddie's and Emma's Christmas and birthday shopping are finished for the most part. I can't rule out the possibility of another present popping up. All the nieces and nephew presents are bought. Most of it I did on-line. I love toysrus.com. THey had free shipping on all the toys I bought and had a buy one get one game and little tikes toy thing going on. I also got Emma the little tikes activity garden from KBToys.com. I already know she loves it, my friend has it. It was so much fun. I can't wait.
Well, I have to go. Thanks for reading.
Jess
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