Jessica's Diary Entries Diary Navigation: Choose A Diary Entry -------------------- Latest Entry: 1/3/05 -------------------- 1/2/05 10/11/04 9/20/04 9/15/04 8/27/04 8/9/04 7/27/04 7/19/04 7/5/04 7/2/04 5/27/04 5/19/04 5/10/04 4/26/04 4/20/04 4/8/04 2/29/04 2/11/04 2/2/04 1/24/04 1/13/04 12/12/03 12/9/03 11/26/03 11/19/03 10/27/03 10/19/03 10/4/03 9/22/03 9/7/03 8/29/03 1/1/01 -------------------- Jessica's Introduction

April 20, 2004

Hi, so I'm here again. Somehow I feel a little better. Thanks for your feedback. I feel bad about all of the people who don't have a TTM board. Feel free to use mine if you would like.

I'm happy, though I feel like I'm on borrowed time. I start school on May 18th. I'm dreading it. I can't believe how scared I am. It's just a summer course but I have to meet Monday through Thursday from 5:30 pm to 9:15. I'm taking anatomy & physiology 1. I'm not looking forward to missing the girls at dinner and bedtime. I think it will be very intense as far as studying and homework. What if I'm not smart enough? It said that prerequisites were high school or college chemistry and biology within the last 5 years. I have taken them but not within the last 5 years. HS bio more like 10 years ago and college chemistry nine, and I barely got a C in chem. Now my priorities are quite different from my first semester in college. I moved 1,000 miles away from home, was waiting tables 4 nights a week, was (keyword WAS) premed and had quite a social life. I do think I'm smart, just my chief daytime partners are one and three. Not much for intellectually stimulating conversations or problems.

ANyway, I think it will be rough, but I will do okay. I would love to get an A, to help boost my chances of getting into nursing school.

The girls are doing well. I'm totally loving Emma at this age. She is a pro at walking now. She is talking more and eating better. She's even listening to me. She knows to sit down when I ask her to. Her favorite place in our house is on Maddie's bed. I hate to admit it though, she fell off of it the other day. I thought our upstairs was safe as long as the gate was closed at the top of the steps. So I left the two of them playing in Emma's room. She walked to Maddie's room and used a step stool to climb up on the bed. And then fell off. We keep a step stool by the bed so that Maddie can use it to get in bed. Lest you are thinking she was that smart to go get a step stool to help her get up. She's not quite there yet. She was okay, just scared to death.

The thing I love most about Emma is she is still a baby. She is the cutest little thing. This is a joke, but to give you an idea, I say that Maddie was writing her first book by now. By this time Maddie knew and could name her colors, numbers, letters, shapes, speak in sentences, and knew volumes of words. She walked by 10 months. Emma could care less about any of those things. I appreciate the fact that she's walking now because it took her 16 months to officially walk. So I love to watch her walk. I love to just watch her. Everything is exciting to her. The way she'll just rake her hands through the sand. I appreciate it when she learns a new word. I feel special when I make her laugh. Maybe it is a phase, but I think she is just the most special little girl.

Onto Maddie. We have lots of special moments too. She can be sweet and sensitive. ANd pick me a flower, or draw me a picture. We have lots of special things and routines and rituals, just for us. We are very much alike. I often say that we're perfect for each other. Meant to be. I say this because Emma is different. Not that we're not meant to be. Emma is going to make me a better mom because she is different than me. She is bubbly and social, not reserved and hard to open up like Maddie and I are. BUT, lately Maddie has been asserting (or trying to) her independance. She can be a real handful and I'm often at a loss on how to best deal with this. She frustrates me and I find myself not having the patience that I thought I had. She talks back, sulks, says "I'm not hungry, tired, or whatever it is that it's time to do". She's being more defiant. Appantly people have been saying this is normal and will never stop. Great.
I'm going to really work on this though, and maybe I'll have some pearls of wisdom to share later.

Thanks for reading,

Jess
PS. I've updated the girls website. There is a link on my TTM board if you would like to see.