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February 19, 2001

Hello, world. It has been such a long day. This evening was Kirk's first soccer practice. It was also my sister's first practice. I had the privilege of escorting both of them and Aaron and Anne to the fields for 2 hours of baby wrangling fun. How did the practice go? Who knows? I sure don't. Maybe I could ask one of the parents who were able to leave their darling little ones at home. Both babies screamed nearly the entire time. They were both in umbrella strollers. Aaron wanted to run around, but due to lack of supervision, and an inch thick layer of mud on the ground he was not allowed. This did not go over well with him. He screamed. He flipped his stroller. He screamed. I tried to hold him. He kicked me. I nearly screamed. Finally I decided that he was going back into the stroller and was not getting out again, ever. Anne began screaming--not that Aaron had stopped at this point. I decided to try holding her. At home when I'm trying to eat, or do laundry, or change a diaper, or clean up, or take a shower, or change clothes, etc., she has to be held. So, of course she would want to be held now, right? Wrong. I should have known better. I am a fool. Stephanie's practice ended first and when she was done, she and Aaron, and Anne all went to the van. The babies were buckled into their seats and Steph was put in charge of snacks. This arrangement worked out very well and I was able to sit and watch the last 10 min. of Kirk's practice.
Just for the record, Steph is old enough to watch the babies. Besides, they were just a few yards away from me and I had a clear line of site. Everyone was safe.

Last week I told you about Kirk's meds and I want to talk a little more about that. I guess I am a little worried about the effect the medicine has on him. Kirk seems. . .not himself. He's distant, stoned almost. It is like this medicine takes him from one extreme to another. One of my favorite things about Kirk is his brain and the way it works. For instance, we were at the mall. (Our mall ceiling has a metal grid structure that looks a bit like a jungle gym.) We were sitting outside of The Cookie Company--one of my major weaknesses--and Kirk was looking up at the ceiling. Out of nowhere he says "If Jackie Chan made a movie here, he could get up there and hang by his legs and punch the bad guy and then he could flip and . . ." His brain works in script form. It is really cute. In the car on long silent rides instead of asking why the sky is blue or why he has hands, Kirk will suddenly give us a plot for a movie. That is something I don't want to give up. You know? That is one of those things that makes him Kirk. I'm not going to do anything rash. I'm going to leave him on the meds for a few weeks or a month before I even say anything to the doctor. It'll most likely go away.

On a me note, I have been having this abdominal pain for a while. It is not your normal female abdominal pain. It got so bad that I went to the doctor two weeks ago.
I mentioned a few other symptoms, some of which have been going on for years. After talking to her, a PA friend of mine and an OB/GYN, they think I may have endometriosis (in-doe-mee-tree-osis). I am not even sure if that is how it is spelled. I have had certain pains for years and I never mentioned it to the doctor and now it seems they may be a part of something bigger. How weird. By my request, I've been put on birth control to try to help it. I sure hope it does. If it gets worse, I'll have to get an ultrasound that will cost me $300. I don't have that. I hope the pill works. It is nice though to have some questions answered. For years I thought something I was experiencing was normal and now I know it is not. It is kinda' a relief to know that it isn't normal. Does that make since? One more thing about this. It is possible that endometriosis could have caused my miscarriage in 1997. If I don't have it, I almost don't want to know. It seem like a dream come true to have an answer to the question I have been asking myself and God for three years. Why? I need an answer. As strange as it seem, I want this to be it.

After my doctor's appointment today, Kirk and I stopped by the hospital to see my mom. She loves to have grandchildren visit her at work. Apparently earlier in the morning, as the nurses were sitting around the desk talking. . .I mean working really hard. . .a puppy walked in. This puppy did not walk into the waiting room, or the lobby. It walked into the pre op area where patients are prepared for surgery. This retriever looking puppy walks in collarless, leashless, ownerless. The best they can guess is that the automatic door recognized him and opened up so he could come in. Apparently this dog had luck or God on his side because he walked into the room in which a dog loving nurse was working. She told the other nurses "the law says we have to treat everyone" and she did. She treated this stray to a good home.

I guess that is all for now. Have a great week!
Jenna
Kirk, Aaron, and Anne