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April 26, 2003
4-26-04
I'm leaving tomorrow morning for a week in Montana -- which sounds a lot more fun and exciting than it actually is. When you lived somewhere for 14 years and hated it, the scenery doesn't do much for you when you return for a visit. I think if I hadn't lived there for so long, wishing I were somewhere else, I would enjoy a trip out there a little more!
(If you want to see my page about why I hate my hometown, it's at:
http://www.thebabycorner.com/sites/webs/strangejennifer/Colstrip.html
It was one of the first webpages I made, so the format is horrible, but you'll get the general idea. I'll probably redo it once I get back from my trip.
Anyway, we're going to see my sister graduate from college with a degree in Psychology. She's going to go to grad school, but she doesn't know where and she needs some experience in the field, so she's going to come live with my parents for a year, do some volunteer work, help me with Jake, and study for the GRE.
I know it sounds odd that I need both my mom and my sister to "help" me with Jake, when I was alone with him (ok, hubby was there, too) for a year and we did just fine . . . when I say help, I mean be an extra (free) baby-sitter, cook him some decent meals (as opposed to the hotdogs and mac & cheese that I make), spend one-on-one time with him when I'm too tired to do more than watch TV, go with me to the park with him, play with him while I'm upstairs doing housework . . . pretty much help me be in more than one place at once and not tempt fate by letting him be alone for too long (he finds a way to get in trouble or danger in every room we're in.) I don't necessarily NEED help, but it sure makes my life easier, and I'm not so stressed so I can enjoy the time I actually spend with him. And my house is cleaner (but still not perfect.) Anyway, I don't think a child can ever have too many people who love him, and I think it's good for Jake to have more than one perspective in life -- my mom and sister and I are united in rules and discipline, but other than that I think our differences will be good for Jake. I don't want to limit him to just what I know and my experiences in life.
As Jake gets older, I will make a priority of finding male role models other than just his daddy that he can spend time with and talk to about things that he can't talk to us about. I function in that capacity to several little girls at church, and 2 of my cousins who are 9 and 13 (they live 5 hours away from me.) I write letters to my cousins every week and I keep them stocked with stamps and stationary so they can write to me. They're the 8th and 9th of 10 children and I make an effort to let them know they are special and important and that there's someone who will listen to what they have to say. I think life is too complicated and too hard to raise children all by yourself with no support. I remember, too, how hard it was as I grew up and felt like no one listened to me.
Anyway, that's my little rant for the week, and I'll try to put up a post when I get back!!!
Jen
Jake's webpage:
http://www.thebabycorner.com/sites/webs/strangejen/index.html
My old TTM board (since this one doesn't work):
http://interact.iparenting.com//postlist.php?Cat=&Board=btjennifer
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