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March 29, 2003
3-29-04
OK, I have a LOT of catching up to do. I've not been writing because I was being switched to Toddlers today and that took a month, then I didn't write because I was waiting for my TTM board to be put up and it's been a month and it's STILL not up. So this entry is part 1 of a big fat catch-up, and it's ok if you don't read it all. I'm writing it more for me and Jake than whatever audience I might have (although I appreciate your time if you do read it!) ;o)
CRAZY LIFE
Odd or annoying things keep happening to me, and it just makes me think that my life is absurd. Or that I'm a complete idiot. Once on "Friends," Joey did something stupid and
Chandler just looked at him and said "how do you not fall down more?" Following are several stories that will probably have you asking the same thing about me.
Missing Shoe
One Friday night in February, Jake and I needed to run out for some groceries. Fridays are pretty boring for me, since my mom goes off with my dad and hubby works all night, so it's just me and Jake. I actually really like watching the Friday night line up on the WB (Reba, Grounded for Life, etc.) So Jake and I left at about 6 to go to Bi-Lo about 4 miles away. (We went to Bi-Lo instead of the Kroger just a mile away because I had a milk coupon.) We went through the store and he was pretty good, checked out, got to the parking lot, put the groceries in the cart, wheeled the cart over to the cart return, took Jake out of the cart, and put him in the car. When I got home I realized he was missing his left shoe. Not just any shoes: the $40 StrideRite shoes his great-grandmother bought him. I thought for a second and realized that another 15 minute trip was DEFINITELY worth $40, so we turned back around. (Jake, meanwhile, was probably wondering from the back seat what the hell was going on.) I was pretty annoyed, but I'm the one who didn't tie the shoe tight enough in the first place, and I had a sneaking suspicion the shoe had fallen off when I took him out of the cart. So we drive back to Bi-Lo, the entire time I'm saying "please still be there, please still be there," got into the parking lot, pulled up to the cart return we'd been at . . . and there was the shoe on the ground! With a quick "praise God," I rushed out of the car, grabed the shoe, and we were on our merry way, back home just in time for "Reba."
More Turn-Arounds
A similair incident happened when we tried to get Jake's picture taken in February. Long story short, as I was rushing around to get everything, my mom reminded me to get a bottle. I set down the diaper bag, grabbed a bottle, and out the door I go. We get to the mall, I get out of the car to get the diaper bag (with Jake's picture clothes and picture coupon), realize it's at home, we bust our way back home and back to the mall again.
AND the beginning of March we were getting together at Lou's grandmother's house one evening for dinner and I had been working on her Mary Kay newsletter all day long . . . it was going in the mail that night and I forgot it and of course realized this as we walked in the door, dinner waiting for us. I had to drop my mom and Jake off, say hello, and turn around to drive 6 miles back to my house to get the dumb newsletter.
I'm really not this flighty. I mean, yes, I'm flighty, but I'm a mature, responsible person. I'm rarely late to work, hardly ever call in sick, pay all my bills on time -- usually early and a little more than the minimum amount. I don't know why I keep doing dumb things like this. I guess the good news is, I haven't locked my keys in my car since Jake has been born (knock on wood), although I guess once when he was 8 months old and he was with Lou, I locked myself out of my house. I'm just that bright, you know.
The Apple Juice Incident
My child will not go to bed without a bottle of apple juice. As horrible as that is, he just won't, and we're working on breaking him of it. I think this was in February, too . . . we had run out of apple juice and I'd gotten home late and mom didn't tell me so I didn't have time to go to the store. Hubby left for work, we stayed up late (11ish), then tried to put Jake to bed with watered-down cran-apple juice that I happened to have for much lunches. He got MAD and screamed and screamed until I thought we would all go crazy. At midnight I decided I would get out and drive to a gas station to find some apple juice. It was raining, and cold. The first and closest gas station I went to, I ran inside and they said "we're updating our registers, you can't buy anything for 15 minutes." SCREW YOU! I was pissed. I gave them the look of death and walked back out. Drove 2 miles to another gas station, ran inside, bought 3 bottles of apple juice, and ran back out. I hadn't even gotten dressed -- I was wearing a tie-dye t-shirt (I have 4), and purple t-shirt material pajama pants (comfy.) I felt like a dork but was pretty sure the people working midnights weren't going to judge me (and furthermore, I really didn't care if they did.)
You would think after this, the incident would be over, but no. Jake was so pissed that we had tried to pass of cran-apple juice as apple juice, even when we gave him a bottle of apple juice, he wouldn't take it. Just kept screaming. Bear in mind, this isn't a baby we're dealing with, it's a 17 month old toddler. I didn't want my mom to be up all night with him and then still have to watch him and our friend Zoe the next day, so I took him downstairs (it's about 2 a.m. now), put Sesame Street on (which usually calms him down) and sat on the couch. It was still another hour before he calmed down enough to sleep -- he was so mad, and I guess felt betrayed or something. The next day he still wasn't trusting what we gave him to drink. So we slept on the couch and I got my sorry butt up to leave for work at 6:15 that morning.
Coffee Place Brat
My friend, Priscilla, and I sometimes try to do fun things with the kids on Saturdays . . . her daughter is 6 months younger than Jake, so we decided first to go to the park and let Jake run around. Elauna can't really play much at the park, and she wasn't walking yet, so she sat in her stroller while I chased Jake around. He decided after being shy for 10 minutes that he really liked the slides. For some reason whenever a little girl comes near him, he cries, but whatever. I don't know why he's so scared of girls. Even the ones he's bigger than, he freaks out around. Maybe it's just kids in general, and I notice it more with girs? I don't know. Anyway, Jake had a pretty good time running around, and it was around lunchtime and Priscilla wanted to go to a new coffee place she'd heard about. (She wants to be trendy. She said that herself, I'm not insulting her.) So we went, and Jake was a total brat. I was so embarassed. Not that I can hold it against him, because he's not exactly old enough to behave in these situations, but he has always behaved really well in public in the past and I was being hopeful. Of course the coffee place doesn't have high-chairs, it's not exactly a place that expects to have a lot of kids, but we both got cold coffee drinks and some soup. I love broccoli soup and I wanted to sit and enjoy it, but I couldn't get Jake to just sit in a chair and not be completely loud. Elauna, on the other hand, sat there quietly in her stroller and babbled to herself. Jake knows how to sit in a big person chair, and he sits quietly all the time, he just refused to that day. He wanted to run around and grab things he wasn't supposed to and make noise . . . so I scarfed down my soup, apologized to Priscilla, apologized to anyone within earshot and the people at the counter, and we left. The worst part is that Elauna is such a shining example of a well-behaved child, sitting there sweetly while I tried not to have a nervous break-down. I love Elauna like she's my own daughter, but sometimes her angelic behavior and gorgeous blue eyes just make me mad, like I'm not doing good enough (as if I can control my child's looks.) And Jake is cute but Elauna is beautiful, and whenever we're all out together she gets all sorts of comments and no one ever says anything about Jake, which I know shouldn't matter, but in the back of my mind it bothers me. It's like they're siblings, in competetion.
Poop in the Tub
I can not believe my child did this. On the other hand, I'm surprized we went a year and a half before it happened. Jake LOVES getting baths, he usually gets one or two every day. Usually when he's in the bath I take that time to clean and straighten up my bathroom a bit. I'm sitting there twiddling my thumbs while he plays anyway, may as well be productive. (He doesn't like to be played with in the bath, he does his own thing.) So my back is turned and I hear a little grunt. I think to myself "no. please no." I turn around, and there he is in the frog position, look of surprize on his face. I run over, and yes there is a turd in the tub. For a second, I think "what do I do? what do I do?" I grab a piece of toilet paper, grab the turd (thank God it's solid), throw it in the toilet, and flush. I get Jake out, wrap him in a towel, stand him on the floor, open the tub drain to let the water out, and wash my hands. I gave Jake a good rub-down with a anti-bacterial wipe and get him dressed. Later I come back to clean and bleach the tub contents. I know the turd was only in the tub for probably 3 seconds, but it's a week before I can lay down in it to take a bath.
Spoiled Milk bottle in the Diaper Bag
This is the incident that I think will get me the "horrible mother of the year" award. I try really hard to keep my house clean and if not neat, safe -- i.e. nothing rotting, attracting bugs, no tripping or fire hazards, etc. We have (had) a little blue insulated bag that fit about 3 bottles that we used to tote Jake's bottles around in the diaper bag. After a trip out, my mom mentioned that she wasn't sure where it was. I figured it would turn up . . . well a few days later I was looking for something in the diaper bag and noticed a horrible smell. (It was just me, Jake, Priscilla, and Elauna at my house.) After a little digging, I find the little blue bag . . . .and a milk bottle. It was a small bottle, and about 60% of it was a big hunk of rotted milk. Looked like cottage cheese. It smelled AWFUL. The worst part was, it had been just enough upside down that it leaked out everywhere, thus everything in the diaper bag stunk. I dumped everything out into a big tupperware bucket, and one by one decided what could be washed off and what was to be thrown away. I took the entire blue bag and bottle and just put it in the outside trash. Jake had 2 changes of clothes in the bag that smelled horrible. I soaked them and started them in the laundry. I tried to soak the bag and the changing pad, but they just couldn't be saved. That night after I put Jake to bed I put Resolve down on every square inch of our downstairs carpet and vacuumed really well. I was so mad at myself for letting that happen. The next day I had Lou buy me a new diaper bag (which is actually bigger and better than the old one.)
Screaming Haircut
Jake's hair kept getting longer and longer and I just didn't have the time to get it cut; it didn't help that my mom things little boys with shaggy hair are cute. She kept telling me not to cut it. So we finally got to a breaking point where I couldn't take it any longer, and one Friday after work I came home, honked for mom and Jake, and we went to SuperCuts. Jake has had his hair cut 5 times in a salon, and he's always been PERFECT, no problems. This time, though, he went crazy. It didn't help that he hadn't had a nap that day (yeah, thanks, mom . . . ). He was screaming and screaming so the lady just did the best she could, we apologized, paid, and left. I gave her a $3 tip. His hair didn't get cut nearly short enough, pretty much it was to where I usually let it get before he gets a haircut. That was a month ago, I guess, and we've yet to get his hair cut again -- it's getting long and a little curly in the back. I'm kind of used to it being shaggy and messy looking now -- we wash it every day and make sure it stays neat, but I prefer short haircuts for Jake. I just don't feel like going through another battle with him at the hairdressers, and I'm afraid if I try to do it myself, I'll screw it up. Priscilla says she's never going to cut Elauna's hair, just let it grow and grow. Jake may not get another haircut until he's 3. heh.
Walmart license
It was like March 7th, and I was at Walmart. I was writing a check because my husband had borrowed my debit card (we split bills but don't combine our money, and
sometimes around payday we borrow from each other), so I had to show the cashier my license. I had, until this point, been feeling proud of myself for getting the grocery shopping done and being caught up on housework and laundry. Once in a great while I will really have my act together. That's when the cashier said "do you know your license expired in January?" Great big fat OH CRAP. Getting your license renewed in Nashville is not a happy experience, especially when you know you have to do it TODAY and you can't plan ahead. How did I let it expire, you ask? I never write checks anymore, so I never look at the dang thing. When I got the license in 1998 when I got my first car, 2004 seemed like a REALLY LONG TIME AWAY. (But here we are.)
So the next day at work I told my boss I needed to take some time that day to get my license renewed, and that I needed directions. She had a heyday with my little over-sight, she thought it was SO funny. She was telling everyone that came in that day that I was a felon. But she is very gracious of heart, and not only did she just let me take a hunk out of my day to work this out, she went with me because she knows how much I hate to drive somewhere I've never been. We got lost in a part of West Nashville I'd never been to before, then stood outside in line for 45 minutes in 40 degree weather. Once inside it took another 30 minutes. There were some really WEIRD people at the DMV. I got my new license and I'm a little disappointed with the picture. It looks just like me, that's the problem. heh. My old license had a great picture -- I was 19, skinny face, nice little tan, and the picture's just cute cute cute. The new one is way too close up on my chubby face. Urg. But at least I'm a legal driver again. (Note to self: pay more attention to your life!!!)
I'm going to let that be the end of this post. I'll put up a real update later, but I just had to get these stories inserted into the record of our lives before I forgot about them. This is what my life is REALLY like.
Hugs and happy thoughts.
Jen
P.S. My TTM board STILL does not work, but my old one still does:
http://interact.iparenting.com//postlist.php?Cat=&Board=btjennifer
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