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November 29, 1999

Well, I hope that everyone who celebrates it had a wonderful Thanksgiving, and for those who don't, I hope you had a great week. We drove about 350+ miles to my parents' house, and Jason did so well. I did the trick of buying him a couple of new toys, and that, combined with early departures and long naps, made the trip fairly easy. One toy that he particularly enjoyed was a little plastic phone -- he adores our real one, and so this seemed like a good choice. I think he played with it for over an hour before moving on to something else.

Something very special happened on our trip, and that was that I got to meet the mother of my friend Jason, the one who I named my son after. The only other time I had spoken with her was just after his funeral, and that's not exactly the time to get to know someone. He really got a lot of his looks from her, and it was almost haunting to speak with her and see his eyes staring back at me.

I'm really glad I had a chance to visit with her, I got to tell her some stories about him that she never knew, and I got to hear about what he was like as a child, and how he grew to be the friend that I admired. I still miss him, and wonder what he would have been like. I suppose it's ironic that had he remained alive, I probably would have lost touch with him, as I have with many of my high-school friends. But because of his loss, my life changed, and I will never forget him.

In some ways, I identify so strongly with Jason's mother. I remember the pain I felt at his passing, and now that I have my own son, I have to admire her strength. The loss must have been incredible, and I only hope that it is something I will never have to face.

* * *

Another interesting thing that happened on the trip is that Jason's vocabulary took a leap. Before, he'd slowly add words on, and really was only saying "Daddy" and "Mama" (with prompting) on a regular basis, and would occasionally say "kitty," "duck," "doggy," and "cheese." Other words would be sprinkled in, but very infrequently. This weekend though, we'd try and get him to say a word and he'd really make an effort to imitate us. We got him to say "cracker," "birdie," "Pepe (French for grandpa)," and a few other things. Maybe now we'll start to understand what our chatterbug is saying!

I've also been going back and forth on getting his hair cut. I had been holding off until after Thanksgiving so that my folks could see his curls one more time, and when we got there, it was so dry that they all came out anyway and he looked more like Einstein than the cherub I'm used to. Of course, now that we're back home, he's as curly as ever, and I find that the reluctance is back. I know that once it's done, he really will look more like a little boy than a baby, and it's hard to let go of a stage that has been so precious.

I suppose I'll do it eventually -- half the time it looks like he's got a mouse nest on the back of his head from rubbing against his car seat. I guess that another part of my reluctance is that I probably wouldn't even consider the haircut if he were a girl. Well, the fact is, he's not a girl, and I don't think he's going to have unbelievable strength anyway, so the world will probably continue if I just get it done. Ridiculous isn't it, the way we agonize over minor events like this? We'll see what I end up doing, with the way I procrastinate, he might go on as curly boy for a while longer.

Jen

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