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Jen's Diary Entries Diary Navigation: Choose A Diary Entry -------------------- Latest Entry: 11/19/00 -------------------- 11/14/00 10/30/00 10/24/00 10/18/00 10/11/00 10/10/00 10/3/00 9/20/00 9/13/00 9/5/00 8/22/00 8/15/00 8/1/00 7/24/00 7/17/00 7/11/00 7/5/00 6/26/00 6/19/00 6/12/00 6/5/00 5/15/00 5/10/00 5/1/00 4/25/00 4/19/00 4/10/00 4/4/00 3/29/00 3/20/00 3/14/00 3/6/00 2/29/00 2/22/00 2/15/00 2/8/00 2/2/00 2/1/00 1/26/00 1/12/00 1/4/00 12/29/99 12/20/99 11/29/99 11/17/99 11/8/99 10/27/99 10/26/99 10/18/99 10/13/99 10/7/99 9/29/99 9/22/99 9/13/99 9/7/99 9/1/99 8/31/99 8/17/99 8/10/99 -------------------- Jen's Introduction

October 27, 1999

Well, I'm beginning to wonder if breastfeeding is coming to an end. Jason's only been nursing a couple of time a day for the past month, and now the time that he spends during each feeding is diminishing as well. He doesn't seem at all upset by this, so maybe I should just let it go.

I always said that I would continue to nurse as long as he was interested, I just didn't expect that the end of it would be so soon. Jason did get over 16 months of breastfeeding, when I thought for sure that I would go for a year tops. I will continue for these short feeds as long as he wants, but I wonder how well my milk supply will hold up.

For me, there's a lot of ambivalence about this aspect of our relationship coming to an end. On the one hand, it would be really nice to have my breasts to myself again -- there's nothing like wrestling with a toddler who is determined to lift your shirt and show you off to the world. On the other, since I work outside the home, breastfeeding has been a time for the two of us to snuggle and relax. I think the feed that he takes when I pick him up in the afternoon is important to him -- it's a way for him to reconnect with mama.

There's also the undeniable awareness that my baby is passing a threshold in his life, and that soon he'll only be a baby in my heart. I take joy in watching the person that he is start to show through, and I look forward to having conversations with him (that we both understand). I wonder what kind of man he'll be? Still, there is a part of me that is treasuring the sweet sloppy kisses, the softness of his cheeks, and the roundness of his belly. It's hard to acknowledge that these things won't last, but maybe it's the ephemeral nature of these treasures that make them so dear.

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