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August 22, 2000

08/22/00

I feel like I've got a bit of a moral dilemma on my hands. One of Jason's favorite movies is Disney's "Peter Pan," and the more I watch it, the more it bothers me. The first thing that got me was the various "Indian" scenes. I mean, how would I feel about this movie if I were Native American, and saw such a gross misrepresentation? Not to mention the fact of so many unique nations being treated as a singular entity. Yes, I understand that it's really just the portrayal of a Victorian child's viewpoint, but how is Jason going to understand that at this point? How would I feel if Jason went up to someone and said, "I know why you say 'ugh!'"

Then there's how girls and women are portrayed. Peter Pan saying to Wendy, "Girls talk to much!" Tinkerbell being distracted by a mirror, and then being dismayed at the width of her thighs. Then all the females have some weird jealousy thing about Peter. What's up with that? If the baby I'm carrying is a girl, is this the kind of thing I want her to think of as normal female behavior? Do I want my son to have this kind of perception of women?

So, if I have this much of a problem with the movie, why is it even a dilemma? Because Jason loves it, and the wonder in his eyes at a magical realm is a precious thing. Because it would hurt me to know that he would be sad, and wouldn't understand why he couldn't watch the movie any more. Because in some ways it seems like such a trivial, small thing.

But as I write this, the answer becomes clearer to me. I am his mother, and the responsibility of his upbringing belongs to his father and myself. Even though it seems like a small thing, it's these kinds of decisions that are defining moments of parenthood. Sometimes we have to take things away from our children, even though they love them, and we wish they could keep them. If we don't, even though we feel it's the right thing to do, we've abrogated our authority as parents, and that just seems so wrong.

In the end, I feel like I can't justify letting him continue watching something that I feel is offensive, no matter how benign it seems overall. These small things add up, and if I just let it slide, I think I would do a disservice to my son. So tonight, "Peter Pan" gets put on a high shelf, until such time as I can explain the significance of cultural context. And yes, I will be sorry about having to do so.