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March 6, 2000

What is it with teeth anyway? The first three molars came through with some fussiness, but no great tragedy. The fourth one, however.... Angels and ministers of grace defend us. All day Saturday, Jason was crying, feverish and generally inconsolable. Well, to be honest, he had a few 30-minute stretches that he did okay. Yesterday, he was okay, though there were moments of banshee madness. The good news is that I can see two points of that molar with just a little way to go, and if we're lucky, and Jason follows his usual pattern, he'll be fine once it breaks through.

I love being with Jason, but when he's going through a hard time it just wipes me out and once he's done, I need some recovery time of my own. I think Steve and I need to get out for an evening just the two of us. We used to go out more when Jason was smaller, but unfortunately we lost a couple of our baby-sitting options, and I don't want to impose too much on our friends.

I've just been feeling kind of overwhelmed in general lately. Taxes hit us hard, I'm trying not to get too worked up about trying for another baby, and I've been feeling ambivalent about my job. I like where I work, and what I do is interesting and challenging, but at the end of the day I could care less if the world has another web site.

I feel pulled in so many directions when it comes to a decision about what to do. I tried out a budget to see if I could quit, and the fact is that there just isn't enough money from Steve's paycheck alone. It's easy enough to say, "If you really wanted it, you could make it work." Not so easy to accept the idea of actually living off of ramen noodles. Now if only those lottery tickets would pan out. . . .

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