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November 28, 2003

Hi Everyone and Happy Thanksgiving!

We spent the holiday with my parents. My Dad always makes the stuffing and cooks the turkey and my Mom cooks everything else. I asked several times if I could bring anything, but she really enjoys trying new recipes and the holidays are always a good opportunity for her to do that. I can't complain I love her cooking and I would rather spend my free time with Josh than in the kitchen anyway, so it works out well. My family is scattered. All my siblings live in different states, so we didn't see them for Thanksgiving, but we hope to all get together this year for Christmas. I know Josh is especially looking forward to seeing his nephews who live in Hawaii. I really hope they will be able to come.

This year (as in years past) I made a turkey and stuffing for my staff. Every year we have a big Thanksgiving potluck at my office and no one ever signs up to bring a turkey, so a few years ago I started doing it. It's really not that big a deal except that I have to get here really early to make sure it is cooked by lunch time. We have a double oven in the building, so I am able to cook it here. This year, Josh and I arrived at 6:45 am. Josh's daycare wasn't opened yet, so he came with me to work. He watched me put the Turkey in the oven, then played in my office for about an hour before I took him over to the daycare facility. I didn't get much done while he was here, but I really enjoyed having him around. He was running around the department saying "up up and away!" I think that is from Superman and I have no idea where he heard this phrase, but it was very cute!

Last weekend we went to the Disney Animation Studios in Burbank. Once a year they open up these studios to the public. They have a big craft fair, food booths and some of the Disney Characters are roaming around as well as Santa and Mrs. Claus. Josh did get his picture taken with Pluto, but when he saw Santa his eyes got as big as saucers and he turned around and ran! It doesn't look like we will be getting a picture with Santa this year, but I am hoping if there are fewer people and less commotion he might be agreeable to it. I guess we will have to wait and see.

I have all next week off of work. I plan on doing some errands for the house (carpet cleaning etc.) I am also going to take Josh to visit his new school for a couple of hours one day. On Wednesday night we all leave for Utah to go to the snow and visit with friends. Josh is so excited, he is so looking forward to building a snowman. I really want to take him to the areas where we can ride on intertubes down the hills. I just know he will love it! Josh has been talking about it a lot and I am sure he will have plenty of stories to share with his friends when we get back.

As for TTC, I am on day 2 and just finished a very emotional cycle. According to my fertility monitor, I ovulated about 2 days early, so I expected AF by day 27 or 28. On the morning of day 29, still no AF so I took a PG test. This was a store brand test that I had never used before and on the box it said "results within 60 seconds". So, I took the test watched the test for about 2 minutes and it was negative. So, I tossed the test in the trash and went on with my day expecting AF to show up at any moment. After spending the day at the Disney studios and AF still not showing up, I started wondering of I had really read the test correctly. My cycle is so regular that it didn't make sense at all that by mid day on day 29 still no AF, so being the desperate woman that I am, I dug through the trash to find the test and get another look. When I found the test it had a very faint positive and I was elated! DH wasn't home, so I couldn't share the news but needless to say I was on cloud nine. After about an hour of feeling wonderful, I started thinking that maybe the test was inaccurate because it had been sitting for so long. Now, I dug the box out of the trash and read the instructions (better late than never, right?). The instructions said that you can get positive results in as little as 60 seconds, but wait 5 minutes to confirm a negative. It went on to say that tests are invalid after 10 minutes. It clearly stated that you could get a false positive if you read the test more than 10 minutes after taking it. So, my moment of happiness was gone. Now I was just confussed. I only waited about 2 minutes before I tossed the test, then I looked at it again about 6 hours later so, which result was right? I decided to take another test the next day, but I didn't have one in the house. I ended up not making it to the market until Monday night, but still no AF, so I took another PG test using first morning urine on Tuesday (day 32). This time I used a brand I was familiar with and figured the results would be accurate (after all I was now 5 days late). That test came out negative and I felt confident that I was not PG. It's funny how having AF show up late can really make you think you are PG. I have never been 5 days late in my life unless I was PG, so as the day progressed and still no AF, I started gettting my hopes up again. I went through the entire day, no AF. The next day (day 33, now 6 days late) no AF. It wasn't until the morning of day 34, 7 days after AF was due, that she finally showed up! Now, I am just glad that I can start again and I know one way or the other. It's the not knowing that is the hardest part of this journey. If someone told me that I would be PG in a year, I could happlily wait until I was PG. But not knowing when or if you will ever be PG again is the hardest thing to handle.

So, I am onto a new cycle and new hope that this will be the lucky cycle for me. Keep your fingers crossed, and send me luck. I need all I can get!

Thanks for reading,

Janet and Josh