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March 22, 2004

Hi Everyone!

Josh is nearing his third birthday and I think we are going to skip the big party this year. For the past 2 years we have had a really big to do for Josh's birthday. This time last year I was designing invitations and reserving the park for the special day. I don't want to take away from the specialness that I know Josh has felt in the past, but I am thinking this year we will take him to Disneyland for his birthday and skip the big party. He has never been there and I think he is old enough now to really enjoy some of the shows and rides. The only thing that worries me is the lines. He isn't old enough to understand why we have to wait an hour to get on a ride. We are going to try to go mid week in the hopes of keeping the waiting to a minimum, but this will be a true experiment for us. If Josh gets cranky and wants to go home, we can certainly do that. I think as long as there is cake and a few gifts, Josh will have a great birthday. It's still a couple of months away, so we have plenty of time to iron out the details.

Josh got a little car sick yesterday. As a child I used to get car sick and my Mom still tells the stories of how I would throw up in the back seat everytime we went on road trips (LOL). I really do feel for my parents, now that I have experienced it from their point of view. We were drivng up to my parents house on Sunday, as usual, and the road is really windy. Josh had just finished lunch when we put him in the car and he was asking for more. We had to go, so I gave him the rest of his peanut butter and jelly sandwitch to eat in the car on the way up (big mistake). We were almost there when I heard it. I looked back and Josh's lunch was pouring out of his mouth. I felt so bad for him because I know what it feels like to be car sick and it is not fun. We were so close to my parent's house that it didn't make sense to pull over and try to clean him up on the side of the road, but I hated to make him sit in it for the few minutes it took to get there. Once we were there I got his clothes off and gave him a bath and some clean clothes. He wasn't bothered at all by the experience and was already asking for a snack. He has been fine ever since, so I am confident it was just motion sickness.

As for TTC, AF arrived Sunday morning. It's such a bummer because I really thought we had so much in our favor this cycle. My doctor had said he expected it to take about 3 cycles, but even then I still hoped this would be it for us. As I have said before the waiting is the hardest part of this whole process. I feel like I am waiting for "O" then I am waiting to test. When AF comes it starts all over. The RE has just added to the waiting. I had to wait for a referral to see him. Then I waited 2 1/2 months to get in to see him. Now I am waiting for my next appointment with him. The waiting seems endless! How much longer to I have to wait?

So, we are onto cycle 18. It has now been a year and a half that we have been TTC and add a failed IUI to my history. I will see my RE on Wednesday and I assume he will put me back on clomid and set me up with the injecable meds. my day 14/15 lands on a weekend, so I am interested to hear what he says about that. We may have to skip this cycle and "wait" until next cycle to start again.

I will turn 37 this cycle and that seems to be some sort of cut off age for the fertility specialist. I had some blood tests before we started this process and once I turn 37 that test will have to be duplicated each cycle. I am off the hook this time around because I am still 36, but if we aren't successful this time around then I will have to start repeating that test regularly.

I was thinking back to this time last year and had to laugh because DH and I decided to take a couple of months off TTC last year because we wanted to avoid having a baby around the holidays. Now I would be thrilled at the thought of giving birth Christmas day. Time sure changes your perspective on things!

Well, that's all for this week. Thanks for reading!

Janet and Josh