 | Diary Navigation:
|
March 22, 2001
Thursday 20-something of March, 2001.
You know, sometimes I sit down to write a diary entry and I can't think of a thing to crap on about. Weird huh, considering I'm living in the ever-changing-funtabulous world of Toddler-ville! But so many changes take place within Pixie in the course of a week or two, that I no longer keep track of it all…new developments just fold themselves into the Pixmeleon's repertoire as I sit and watch with a dumb expression in my glazed eyes! To be honest, I'm sure I must have tons to tell about what's going on in the Pixster's world at the moment, but it seems I can't keep any piece of information in my brain for more than 20 seconds at a time. After 20 seconds it becomes superseded by the next thing. I have no idea what's happened to my memory, I think the minute Pixie arrived in-utero it decided it was a good time to take a looooooooong vacation; I can't will it back no matter how hard I try. But then again, if I were on vacation I could never be tempted back to a world of disturbed sleep, 6am risings, lukewarm cups of tea, mind-numbing daily repetition of nonsensical nursery rhymes, and the watching of children's television for 2 hours a day! And hey, I can't even tempt it back with the divine 'high' of excessive chocolate consumption guiltily stuffed down between nursery rhymes….I'm still dieting with no fun foodstuffs to enhance my mood!
Perhaps my brain is similar to this joke of a computer I'm tapping away on: it barely functions with 16mb of RAM and is constantly crashing under the weight of the things I make it do! As for me, I don't need more RAM, I need more REM! I tell you I am heartily sick and tired of this disturbed sleep business, I had no idea I'd still be yearning for an uninterrupted 8 hours kip 16 months into this gig! Some nights we get woken up 3-4 times and it's taking it's toll on my facilities. Scary things are happening to me. I've locked my keys in the car TWICE in one month, and had to get strange men to poke long bits of wire into narrow slits so Pixie and I could depart the shopping centre car-park before our carton of milk went off! And dear friends, spare a thought that this is happening to ME: control-freak extraordinaire, the woman who knew the exact location of every safety-pin, band-aid, bobby-pin and rubber-band in the entire house!!! I NEVER lost anything, EVER, and prided myself on always being able to find anything anybody else had lost!! I actually considered listing this talent on my resume! Now it seems that the part of my brain that remembered things, including the names of everyday household objects, what day of the week it is, and that it is a good idea to take the keys OUT of the ignition before locking the car doors, has simply VANISHED!!!
Lately the weeks are speeding by like a bullet aimed straight between my eyes…I seem to do an awful lot of furious running without much time to stop or look back. I'm sure if I stop for long I'll just crumple like a wounded fawn, and be unable to resume any kind of functioning life again. Needless to say, (but I'll bloody well say it anyway), I CANNOT BUR-LIEVE HOW BUSY LIFE WITH A TODDLER ON CENTRE STAGE CAN BE!!!
Sometimes I wonder what the heck we do all day that keeps us so busy, but then I actually astound myself and remember, and it's not a particularly empowering vision. This is simply because the days, between the Pixie wakeful hours of 6am to 8pm, are spent in the seriously unproductive pursuit of whatever-the-fuck-Pixie-deems-fun-for-today! I'm sure I've said it before but if I DARE try and do anything ADULT while the Pixie is in viewing range, then I am quickly bought back into line. I mean, hey, from where Pixie's sitting-standing-scurrying she probably thinks she's doing me a favour. I mean, WHAT could be so enthralling about holding pages of paper in front of your face and looking at the squiggly lines? Surely it's MUCH more fun to sing silly nonsensical rhymes and watch while the Princess twirls round and round and round the lounge-room floor, making me dizzy! And so the minute I lift a book to my eyes she'll come scurrying over and try and climb onto my knee and save me! And what could possibly be fun about slopping a cloth over bits of china in a sink of steaming water? And hey, I'd have to agree with the girl on that point, except the truth is she would probably LOVE be elbow deep in warm water and splashing big puddles onto the kitchen floor! But I don't let her, of course, and so the minute I try and do anything in the kitchen she'll squeeze between my legs and the bench and literally attempt to push me away!!
Anyway, my point is this: ……………hmm, ummm, dee-daa-dee, oops! Twenty seconds is up isn't it? I've gone and bloody well completely forgotten what my point was! Well that's just TYPICAL!! I mean what's a girl supposed to do? I'm not even capable of writing a grocery list at the moment, it just looks like this: 2 kgs of brown thingey-ma-jigs, some you-know-whats-its, a couple of bags of those shrivelled up things Pixie likes, and two more packets of that frozen stuff we ate last night, what-ever-the-fuck-it's-called! It's amazing that I even remember my husband's name (please don't ask me to spell it!), and I'm seriously wondering if it's actually LEGAL to drive a vehicle within 3 years of giving birth…surely it couldn't be legal if they actually KNEW?
As for me, I know nothing much any more. Things flit in, things flit out, things flit by, and I haven't the energy, space or time to try and comprehend any of it. All I know is today Pixie learnt how to say "good girl" which has to be the biggest irony of the century! I mean, TRUST HER, she spent the evening tossing her food at the walls saying "goo gurl, goo gurl." Ha! It'd be funny if I had the energy to laugh! But I'm too busy wondering where I'll find the brainpower to locate a cloth, and when I'll be able to find a nanosecond to actually wipe the shit off!
Oh well what can I say? Sometimes I look at my little girl carting her black baby doll around by the ankles and I'll turn to whats-his-name sitting next to me on the couch, and declare, "Isn't she just beautiful? She's so gorgeous I can't get over it!"
And so, until next week's sizzling episode, we wish you all lots of whatever-it's-called.
Eloise, suffering delayed-onset, post-partum alzheimers! HUMPH!
 |  |
|
want to keep a diary on iParenting?
Authoring a diary on the iParenting network allows you to chronicle your family's story, preserving it for years to come. It's also a great way to get the most out of the iParenting community. Click here to start...
|
The iParenting Media Awards program helps parents find the best products for their families. 
