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December 17, 1999

Well, it happened. My babies turned one. I’m not sure how it happened or why it had to happen, but it did. There wasn’t as much reflection on the past year as I would have liked; no outward sign and celebration that we all made it through the first year of life with twins and a preschooler. Just the inward sense of wonder that my magical babies are now healthy and happy toddlers. Thank God for that. It’s one of those bittersweet moments in life when you ache for what you’re leaving behind while reveling in the present and yet looking forward to greater things in the future. My mind is a whirlwind of clashing emotions: longing and contentment, anxiety and confidence, sadness and joy. I’m left wondering if all mothers – indeed all parents – feel this way?

We had the girls’ birthday party last Sunday. We had about 20 people – family and close friends – but it felt like a nice group. We sang to each of them and each had her own cake. I think they understood that we were directing our attention to each one at different times, and they reveled being in the spotlight. Cassie and Jules each smiled after we sang to them, and then big brother CJ blew out the candles for them. They seemed to enjoy their cake (it, of course, got all over their clothes and faces!), though didn’t finish their portions at all. After they were done, we stripped off their party clothes and threw them in the wash so it wouldn’t stain! I had back-up outfits ready to go, so they were re-dressed in short order.

CJ seemed to enjoy the party a lot, even though it wasn’t for him. He was very good about being patient to eat cake and then wasn’t too insistent about opening presents. It may have been because we had just opened presents the day before, since we celebrated Christmas with my family early (my mother will be out of town). Then, this weekend, we will celebrate Christmas with my mother-in-law, and then celebrate the actual day of Christmas with my grandmother. Lots of presents – hope it’s not too confusing for CJ! He and the girls may end up thinking Christmas comes three times a year!

On the girls’ real birthday yesterday, we had a mellow day: took them to their baby movement class (which they love, and the teacher had everyone sing happy birthday to them!), then had a quiet day at home. They have their one-year doctor appointment next week, so I’ll share the details with you later.

It finally snowed here, so “it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas!” CJ is loving it – he looks out the window each morning to see how much has fallen. Pretty soon we’ll be able to take them all sledding. Alvin is so good about that – on very snowy days, he even pulls CJ to school in the sled!

Have a Merry Christmas!

Elisa, mom to CJ and C & J