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June 2, 2003

This is a little bit of a different entry as I am going to talk solely about my feelings about something that I have been faced with lately. And I guess it is safe to say that I am looking for comments/support what have you.

As you may know I have been spending my evenings tutoring various students this year. I also wrote about one of those students who also comes to my home to help out with William and various household items. He is a grade 8 boy who I think is a really sweet person, fun loving, eager to learn and succeed in life. Unlike many other teenagers who I have come in contact with who have no regards for authority or their education (read future) would rather party than babysit, etc. Now this may sound like any one of us as a teenager, but I am just trying to say that he is a sweet boy. This is in spite of the fact that I have never heard any mention of a father, an abusive alcholic mother, who lives in poverty in a home I wouldn't want to spend one night in (and I'm not saying these things spell diaster either, just giving the background).

SInce I have know him his mother has not been drinking, nor has been violent toward him. HE has been in foster care on two other ossacions, but I had the impression that things weren't too bad lately. HIs sister is already in another person's care due to her mother's abuse, but Thomas seemed to be doing all right.

Well I guess things got bad this weekend, his mother got abusive towards her girlfriend, adn was threatening Thomas, who left the home and went to his sisters caregivers. HE called me that night and explained what was happening and said he didn't want to go home til his mother got help. THis is where I come in...

Thomas now needs a place to live. HE can stay with his sister for two weeks, but they have no extra room and at his social worker is now looking for a home for him. I was suggested, and got the phone call today, with an explanation of what this would entail. I discussed it with Will, but he really does not think this is a good idea, obviously as we have our own family to worry about, and he feels that it would be too much responsibility. To some extent I agree, and I know for sure that it wouldn't work if we both don't agree to do it. But at the same time I do feel like I want to help this boy, who I am told will have to leave town in two weeks as there are no foster homes currently available in our community.

I guess right now I just need someone, somewhere to provide some sort of support that I am not a cruel person by not taking this boy into my home. Will tells me my heart is too big, and could see me having our house full of stray animals and homeless children.

When I tell this boy that we cannot offer him a home right now, how do I not make him feel badly about this, it has nothing to do with him, just the overall situation and all it entails.

And, what if anything can I do to offer support, especially if he is to be moving to another town.

Has anyone else been faced with this sort of situation, and would you ever consider providing foster care, why or why not?

Thanks for lending your ears!
Dawn