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August 19, 2003
Okay, I guess I'm making one entry a month at this rate!! We still have not made any building progress - supposed to start up tomorrow. I have lots of company coming over the next two weeks - and a very dirty house. I'm TRYING to get motivated because I've got three days to get it cleaned.
Alyssa is quite the character. She learns new words literally every day. Today so far "stairs" and "careful". Yesterday "seat", "apples"... She is amazing. We were at the doctor's this past week because I really did a number on my thumb with some scissors last week. It was an emergency, so Alyssa did not get cleaned up and fully dressed. She was in a romper with no shoes or socks. She was standing on the table next to me and she says "Gook!" I said "I'm sorry Alyssa, we left your milk at home." So she says "Hoys?" "No, we didn't bring any toys either." She looks at her feet and says "Hoos?" I had to laugh. "No, sweetie. We left your shoes, too."
I find that I love her more and more each day. I loved her when she was teeny tiny, but somehow that love seems bigger now. It may be because she is such a little person and I LIKE her now, too.
And lastly, I'd like to share something that I wrote a couple of days ago. We've been going through a lot over the past few weeks and this sort of sums it up....
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When we had our inn in Atlanta, we had this very sweet girl who worked for us. She went to our church. She would pray for things and her prayers would be answered. I learned so much by watching her. She prayed for a vehicle - someone in the church GAVE her one. She prayed for a specific man on campus to notice her - they are now married and are missionaries to Ireland. When we were looking for property out here in California, I began praying specifically. I made a long list of what we wanted in a property, right down to blackberries and apple trees (I just canned my first blackberry preserves and picked apples for pie!) It seems that somewhere along the way, I forgot about specific prayers and my words to God became vague.
"Lord, help my husband."
"Lord, make everything work out for us."
No apparent answer. I know God has heard each of those prayers, but how can He answer when I haven't told him what I need?
A couple of weeks ago the big septic issue came up. It looked like something we could not overcome. How do you just find $30,000 that isn't in the budget? I prayed "Lord, please give me the answer to our septic issue." The next day while I was showering - bam. There was the answer. Downsize the system. Hold off on installation until the money from our settlement comes. Move forward on construction.
Four days ago, I remember those specific prayers that had been answered last year. "Okay God. I'm going to tell you EXACTLY what we need and trust You to provide."
"Lord, give my husband enough Grace for TODAY." - My husband has been doing so much better the past few days. He is not so helpless and he is actually talking to me about things. This is a major improvement.
"Lord, you know we are out of money. We know that You led us here and are not going to abandon us and leave us to fail. I'm asking that you resolve this lawsuit and give us a check for at least $40,000 by this next Friday." - This morning our attorney called. The lawsuit is being settled. We should be getting a check for $41,500. I asked the attorney when we could expect it - within a matter of days!
I think that God wants us to challenge Him to answer our prayers. He says that we have not because we ask not. God wants to bless us. We're going to go through hardships. We've had a very rough few months. It isn't over yet, but God is bringing us through, day by day and prayer by prayer. It is during these hard times that we learn to lean on the Lord and TRUST. It is easy to trust when everything is going according to plan. It is times like these when our faith is actually demonstrated.
The next time I begin to doubt, someone remind me to let God know what I actually need...
Christy
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