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August 20, 2004

Oh gosh, so much time between entries, so much going on, I don’t think I will be able to really go into everything in the details as they happen but I will give you a brief overview of the last few weeks.

First of all, quickly and quietly just before the cruise I celebrated my 31st birthday. 31 is a pretty non-year to me, then again, they have been getting progressively less significant as time goes on, so I guess that’s the way it goes. It was nice, though. Since it was also my last day of clinical we celebrated with cake and presents at 7:30AM, the only time the whole family would be awake and together. Ella had already spilled the beans about the cake and the presents (does Jamie seriously think she won’t mention these things?!?!) so I knew they were out there, but didn’t know how or when we would be able to share them together so was happily surprised and felt quite decadent when Jamie roused himself early to pull this small shin dig together.

Most of what we have been up to however is cruising on our annual family vacation. No surprise here, it was wonderful. Lots of beautiful blue water, quality family time, rich food and merriment. I couldn’t ask for anything more.

This year Ella really got into playing with her cousins, particularly Katy (8), Kristen (4), and John (2). Whenever they were around they would become completely absorbed in their own world of fantasy—they did a lot of playing one or the other was sick, or that they were spiders or babies. It was very cute to watch but I have to admit that at the end of the trip both my mom, Jamie and I felt very incidental in Ella’s entertainment. On the one hand, it made things very easy for us but it was also definitely sad to realize how much she preferred the company of someone else over us. The only time we got real ‘Ella time’ was when we did something solely as a family but, with 20 of us on the trip, that didn’t happen too often. I don’t think I even sat next to Ella once at dinner, and often Jamie and I didn’t even sit at the same table as her. While these were some long dinners, sometimes up to 2 ½ hours, Ella really did well. Not only did she have her cousins to play with, but there was always some adult-type figure around and, truthfully, she is much quicker to mind when someone else tells her to do something. If it is Jamie or me we are more likely to get defiance or at least wheedling to get out of something or dilly-dallying as she complies. Sigh.

In addition to her family, there was also a Kids Club that ran on the ship that Ella enjoyed, especially since Katy and John were in with her in the 2-5 group. The KC ran during various hours while we were at sea and every night from 7-10. At first I was really worried that Ella wouldn’t be able to handle the night, since she usually goes to bed around eight, but she quickly adjusted her schedule and had no problems whatsoever, which was a huge relief. In addition to songs, games, and crafts, the kids almost every night would go for a march around the ship, dressed up and singing various songs. I was really annoyed that the parents were never told when or where the kids would be going but I guess it is hard to always know in advance (if you showed up to get your child there was a note on the door telling you where they had gone). I heard from many family members who had seen these impromptu pip squeak parades but I never got to see or hear one myself and I was heartbroken about it since it sounded just precious. In any case, Ella was always happy to go and came back with various trinkets and singing the new songs she knew, so I was happy that she had that resource.

Finally, in addition to her cousins and the kids club, my cousin Jennifer had also brought a babysitter for John who she let Jamie and I use whenever we wanted. We didn’t use her at all during the day but we did have her pick up Ella from kids club and put her to bed on the last four nights of the cruise. Ella loved the baby sitter and went down much easier for her then for Jamie and I so this was another huge bonus. The big unexpected part of all these perks/Ella distractions was that Jamie and I ended up getting to spend a lot of quality time together either alone or at least without toddler distractions. We definitely spent more one on one quality time together then we have since Ella was born. This was an unexpected bonus I hadn’t anticipated but we both were happy with the way things turned out. And, hey, if you ARE going to get this sort of an experience what better place to have it then on a cruise ship heading to beautiful Bermuda, with plenty of decadent food and vino at your disposal, eh? Lucky us!!!

That’s not to say, of course, that we didn’t get to have some very good times with Ella, whenever we could rip her away from her cousins. Our favorite thing to do was play in the pool. Ella wasn’t crazy about the beach—the waves were too big and loud for her and she was afraid—but absolutely loved being in the pool. I had hoped there would be a kiddie pool but this boat was smaller then some of the ones I have been on in the past so there was only the adult pool, which had a broad shallow part around the edge. Ella loved to play there but it made me so nervous; I was always on the edge of my seat waiting for the boat to rock and send her tumbling into the pool. Fortunately that didn’t happen and the only time she went in the deep part was with Jamie or I. She had her water wings on and would spring into our arms over and over and do a quick little paddle around (while hanging onto our arms). She definitely gained confidence and skill over the week but never was able to let go of us. When I asked her afterwards what her favorite part of the cruise was she first said the chocolate ice cream (which she ordered for herself every night for dessert) but later said the pool.

One last Ella comment about the trip was that she didn’t take a single nap while she was on it. This is remarkable for a few reasons. First of all, she has NEVER skipped a nap before (she has tried but we always prevailed, one way or another). Secondly, she was really really busy all day long. Thirdly, she was staying up very late. Finally, this went on for a whole week. I know often when children start dropping their naps it is every other day or so but, barring one 15 minute cat nap in the cab, she went the whole week.

That’s not to say we got off scott free. Instead of a nap she nearly everyday threw a terrible fit. This wasn’t the normal fuss/whine but a full on fit, complete with wailing, head shaking, limbs flailing, and illogical syllables hurled at anyone who cared to listen. I was never too surprised when this happened—I figured with the loss of nap something had to give—but the really remarkable thing was that afterwards she was perfectly fine, didn’t act or seem tired, and was able to stay up very late with no issues. It was like the fit served the purpose of the nap, to recharge or reset her. Not an ideal situation, of course, but it did end up being something we could all live with that allowed Ella to really enjoy the most of her day. Now that she is home we have been gradually getting back to the normal bedtime and she is back to taking short, reluctant naps. Another good bonus from our trip is that is seems to have broken the cycle I described in my last entry, in which she immediately started fighting with us at bedtime. We still do a lot of negotiating, and it is probably a good hour plus between when we start her bedtime routine and when she finally drifts off, but it is not as bad as it was, and we are all glad for that!!

Finally, I would like to end this entry with a great big congratulations to my husband who finally got a much deserved promotion at work. He has been with his company for five years and is definitely one of the best employees in his department so if they hadn’t smartened up and offered this to him he probably would have had to leave, and I’m glad that we won’t have to go through that now. He doesn’t LOVE his company but few do and it is very close to home, the workload isn’t overwhelming and his boss leaves him alone. Good enough, especially now that they are paying him more. Yeah Jamie!!!

Bonnie’s Book Review

Confessions of a Wicked Stepsister (Gregory Maguire)—Good book, fairly easy reading telling the story of Cinderella from the view point of the step-sister. I didn’t like it as much as Wicked though (about the wicked witch of the west)—didn’t think there was as much character development or as good of a melding of his tale with the fairy tale.

The Time of the Butterflies—Very interesting story of four sisters in the Dominican Republic fighting against their dictator government. I loved all the sisters and really felt for the tragedy of the story.

As always, thanks for reading.
Bonnie