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July 25, 2003
No more day care for Bonnie
For the last couple of weeks I have been spending time with Ella at her day care. It was usually about 1 ½ hours in the morning when I brought her in. I would play with her and also all of the other little kids in the Muppet room. It was a lot of fun but very tiring—all those kids are very very active and always ready to get into something new. Together we played with play dough, in the sand box, read books together, jumped off the step together, painted, and just hung out. I really enjoyed it. Not only was it fun to see a little of ‘Ella’s world” at school, but I also liked being able to see all the other little kids and to get to know the teachers better.
Unfortunately it seems as though these visits have made Ella’s separation anxiety worse. Since moving to the Muppet room, she had gotten good at being dropped off without too much anxiety—there is just so much to do in that room she couldn’t wait to get started and forgot to be clingy, I think. But when I left after playing with her she was very clingy and was bawling when I left. And then this last time as soon as she even heard that everyone was getting ready to go outside (my time to leave) she immediately got anxious and worried and wouldn’t put on her hat or let go of me at all and again I had to leave her in tears. I feel like the worst person when I do that but I know that to run back and hug her and comfort her would only make it worse in the long run.
On top of that, the next day when Jamie was bringing her in, he asked who she was going to play with at school today. We do this all the time and she will start listing the teachers and kids at school. But that day all she would say was ‘Mommy’. So, talking with Jamie and her teachers, we decided that I would stop coming to school with her. I am disappointed by this, but I would be even more so if our summer wasn’t about to get so busy I doubt I will have as much free time as before, and I know she is going to be pulled out of daycare a lot anyway, so we will be able to still have special summer moments, just not at school.
Busy Busy
Last weekend was very busy, but all good stuff, so I am certainly not complaining. On Saturday we went to Walden Pond with some friends. It was a great day, perfect for the beach, and we all had a blast. Ella loved playing in the sand and did some wading in Walden, but her happiest times were wandering through the woods with Jamie, and he loved that she would seek him out for these explorations. She would walk up to him, put out her hand and say, “Come on, Dada”. Apparently Daddy is the good guy again—wa-hoo (for both Jamie and my sake)!!!
Then Sunday we went and visited my Aunt and Uncle in NH and again hit the beach for another nice relaxing summer afternoon. We ate dinner there and then brought my 15-year-old cousin Emma back with us so my Aunt and Uncle could celebrate their 25th wedding anniversary with a little two-day getaway.
For both of these outings Ella was just a joy. So pleasant to be around, charming and agreeable and cute as a button. She makes it so easy for Jamie and I to relax and show off our little bundle of joy. I have to say, though, we usually pay for it later in the confines of our own home. I think that, on a subconscious level, it stresses Ella out to be on her best behavior around ‘strangers’ (or just anyone outside of our little family circle) for so long and she usually loses it in a big, irrational crying jag fairly soon upon returning home. I think that I understand this, though, and feel for her and am fine with holding her and waiting out this ‘release of pent up emotions’. To be honest, I consider it more then worth it in return for having her be such a joy when we are out and visiting.
Good and bad times on the Cape
Ella and Emma and I went down to the cape for Emma’s visit and we all went with my mom to the Barnstable County Fair. This fair used to be the high light of my summer but I haven’t been in many years so was very excited to go again and show it all to Ella. We had great fun visiting all the farm animals, looking at all the vendors and eating yummy fair food. Emma and I even went on some of the crazy upside down rides in the midway, which only left me slightly nauseous. Ella enjoyed all the animals, especially when she could pet them. I spent quite a while trying to show her how to hold food in her hands in the petting zoo for the animals to eat from, but she never fully got the handle on keeping her palm flat—she wanted to hand them each little kernel of food. I would have to pry her fingers open and hold her hand down like that to avoid her getting nibbled on. She loved it though, and giggled when she animals came over for food. For much of the time, however, seemed to almost be in a daze, which didn’t surprise me too much at the time since there was just so much going on, nearly all of it completely unfamiliar and definitely overwhelming I imagined. On the way home we asked Ella about the fair and what she saw and she was able to mention a lot of the animals and things we saw. This impressed me, since being able to independently recall and talk about past sights and events is a fairly new skill for her.
By the next day, however, it became clear that at least part of her subdued presence at the fair was that she was getting sick. She had a fever and was very lethargic and cranky. By the end of the day her fever was up to 102. I have to admit that I am definitely not someone who whisks her kid off the doctor at the slightest sneeze or low-grade fever but this was high enough that I started to get worried. Back in Boston we went to the pediatrician who was unable to diagnose anything and left us with the general instructions of Tylenol, Popsicles, and wait it out. Three days later, we are still ‘waiting it out’. Poor little kid, she is pretty miserable and I wish I could take it all away for her. As I write this she is in the middle of a marathon four-hour nap, however, so I hope that is a good sign that her body is recharging itself.
Have I mentioned how much this kid loves medicine? She LOVES it and will ask for it all the time, especially in the days after I have given her some for an actual reason. I appreciate that they make the infants pain relievers nice enough tasting that she never struggles when I offer it to her but I have to be super aware that she never gets in on her own. She is always trying to chew or suck on the bottle after I am done administering the dosage. She is also this way with the hydrocortisone cream that we put on her heat rash when she gets it. Afterwards she will point to her neck (where she previously had a rash) and say “Medicine please”. And even now, months later, she will still occasionally ask me to give her a band aid for her eye brow, where she had the stitches, or for her knee that she scraped weeks ago. What a goof ball.
Playground heros
With the warm weather and long days we have been spending lots of time at the local playgrounds lately. In addition to always wanting to go down to the pond to look for bugs and throw rocks into the water, Ella is also very interested in what the older kids are up to. There are a bunch of girls that are right around a year older then Ella and she is very cute, following them around like a little shadow, watching closely then launching herself into whatever activity they are up to. Some of the more nerve-wracking things have included climbing up the chain ladder on the playground, swinging from the bars, and climbing up and walking along a concrete block at the playground. In her defense, with a little persistence Ella has been capable of learning all these skills but they still make me nervous. And I still just won’t let her go on the big-kid swings (unless she’s on my lap, which she stoutly refuses—how embarrassing to be seen on your mommies lap—NONE of the three year olds do that!), which makes her VERY mad. At one point I went over to one of the little girls and was reduced to pleading with her to please stop swinging around on this bar because I just couldn’t stand the thought of Ella up on it (it was within a car structure and I could vividly imagine her slipping and banging her head on the way down).
We had one very cute conversation as Ella and an older girl, Sydney (three, I think), were driving a pretend car.
Me: Where are you two driving to?
S: To Walgreens.
E: Walgreens TOO!
Me: Oh, to Walgreens! Great! What should we get there?
S: Cookies!
E: Cookies TOO!
Me: Oh, you are getting cookies? What kind?
S: Choc-late chip!
E: Chip TOO!
You get the picture. Sigh. Too cute. The next time we went to the playground Ella looked at the car and asked me “Walgreens? Sinney (Sydney)?”
Language slips
Ella has the concept of ‘mine’ down now and will use it freely, especially with the dog. The funny thing, though, is that when she pronounces it, I think she is combining ‘mine’ and ‘yours’ so it comes out “Mice”. So if, say, she is eating a cracker and Coco comes up to her we will hear the very stern “No! Coco! Mice! MICE!!” tee hee hee
For a long time now her pronunciation of frog has been unique. She skips the R sound and the G sounds more like ‘CK’. You sound it out. You would be surprised how often she will find occasion to shout about this amphibian, and I always have to do a double take and quickly explain to anyone in the vicinity what she is talking about.
Next weekend is my big family summer trip to San Francisco. Ella and I are flying out with my mom and Grandmother on Wed. then Jamie is meeting us on Saturday. We will be staying at my Aunt and Uncles at first then moving to a hotel. I am very excited for the trip but anxious about the plane ride. I have been stock-piling books and crayons and puzzles and stickers(all at yard sale prices—nothing more then a dollar) to hopefully keep her entertained for the six hour flight. After that we are going straight now to the Cape to entertain my cousins who will be staying with my mom, so I may be out of commission for a while.
Well, I guess that’s all for now…
Thanks for reading!
Bonnie
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