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May 27, 2003
Not a pauper, not a millionaire, just plain old me
I’m back from Vegas and relieved to report I’m not a pauper but disappointed to point out that I have not won my fortune either. Actually, I have to admit that I am not much of a high roller at all. I love to gamble in principle but when I sit down at the table and plunk my hard earned money down it’s not long before my frugal nature kicks in and I become frantic that I will lose it all. When I am up I keep wondering if I should quit now, while I’m ahead and when I am down I am desperate to cut my losses before I lose the house. I think when all is counted up I probably came pretty close to breaking even, which I am very happy with since I did hit the tables at least once a day. I still just can’t understand how people can be so blasé about huge sums of money lost though. I was at the roulette table one night when a guy came up beside me and began to play at least $150 on red every time. He lost over and over and kept pulling fresh $100 bills out of his wallet, changing them in, then betting it all and losing. He left about fifteen minutes and $750 less later and didn’t seem too much the worse for ware. I, on the other hand, was in shock, but I guess that is the name of the game in Vegas. Maybe he won all that money the night before so it was gravy to him…
I am very glad that we got to go to Vegas, as it is a city that I have always wanted to visit. I have heard so much about it and it has so much mystique surrounding it. And it really is pretty fabulous, with lights and glamour galore, amazingly fantastic hotels, and all the naughtiness anyone could ask for. I doubt, however, that I will be returning anytime soon, if at all. Most of my favorite vacations have been to places that are more historical, or at least naturally more wondrous. Vegas to me was too artificial. The whole time that I was there I couldn’t shake a paranoia that the whole city, with all it’s glitz and glamour, had been made for no other reason then to soak me for everything I was worth, and I didn’t really appreciate it!
It was very fun to spend a couple days without Ella though. To be able to stay up late and drink and not worry about early risers… to be able to go anywhere we wanted on the spur of the moment and not carefully schedule nap times, snacks, meals, and activities… to focus on anything or nothing at all without a little set of arms tugging on me. That was the luxiousness that I loved most of all! All the same, I missed the little rug rat more then anything. I called my mom at least twice a day to check up on them, find out what she was doing , eating, sleeping, wearing , etc… At first I was hesitant to talk with her on the phone because I didn’t want to confuse or upset he but by day 2 we decided to give it a shot and I has some great little conversations with her. They usually went along this line:
Hi Ella, This is mommy.
Mommy!
Are you being a good girl for Nami?
Yeah
What did you do today?
(silence)
Did you go to the playground?
Yeah!
Did you go down the slide?
Slide
Did you have a nice lunch?
Yeah
Okay, well I better go… I love you!
Aschu
Bye Bye!
Bye bye!
I just loved hearing her little voice; it made it much better for me. My mom told me that every time the phone rang after our first conversation, she would ask if it was me. I have to say, that I think my mom was pretty overwhelmed by the whole experience. I had reminded her over and over what a big job it was (and she had two of her own of course) and she’s spent tons of time with Ella but somehow had forgotten how all consuming a toddler can be. While she told me they had a great time together I could see the relief in her face when I scooped Ella back. She informed me that she thought that 1-2 days might be a better time frame to watch Ella in the future then the five days she had just done. So we will have to see if there are any more vacations for us in the future.
After going down to the Cape to get Ella, I ended up staying down there through most of Memorial day weekend, since Jamie was going to be in Maine helping his parents move. With me at the helm with Ella, my mom was thrilled to have us around and we took her to a few playspaces and a Children’s Museum on the Cape, which I never even realized was there.
Uncle Nathan
The other nice thing was that my brother came up from New Jersey and got to spend some time with Ella. Until now, I have been fairly disappointed with my brother’s involvement with Ella, which has been minimal. I guess I’ve always known that he really isn’t very ‘into’ babies but I was hoping that would be different with my baby. After all, there is some pretty serious blood shared there, not to mention that having Ella was pretty much the biggest thing to ever happen to me, and I was hoping he would share my joy. And while he would awkwardly handle her when I thrust Ella in his arms, or robotically push her if I positioned him in front of a swing with her in it, it was pretty obvious that he wasn’t trying interested in winning any ‘Uncle of the Year’ awards. “I like kids that can talk. See me then” he would say. Well, talking she is and I am happy to report that, relative to past visits, Ella had a nice little time with Uncle Nathan. I still attribute this more to her cuteness then his efforts, but I’m not going to be picky… Ella was very quick to figure out and repeat Nathan’s name, which he thought was interesting , and then she proceeded to do a whole bunch of silly jumping on the bed trick for his benefit. Literally, for his benefit. She would stand on the bed and stare at him until she was sure she had his undivided attention (sometimes I would have to remind him that he was keeping his niece waiting) and only then jump up and down and roll around on the bed. Later, with more prompting from me, she brought him some books which he read to her. So, slowly, we are making progress on the operation “make an uncle out of my brother” front.
Random notes
In a burst of domesticity (which doesn’t take me often) I decided that with a toddler in the house I would need to make cupcakes more often and bought ourselves a muffin tin (only later did I learn you don’t need muffin tins anymore to make cupcakes but by then it was a done deal). Last night we had the nicest time when Ella helped and all three of us made cupcakes together. Ella poured all the ingredients in for us and the, while we stirred up the batter she stuck her own spoon in and wiggled it around to help stir. The little cutie even had to be taught how to lick the bowl! Later she helped us frost but, due to an upset stomach, didn’t get to enjoy the fruits of her labors. Sigh. Well, they were fun to make and Jamie and I have admirably taken on the task of polishing them off!
Lately Ella has been playing the cutest game where she will put her animals down for a nap. She announced “Nap” then lays them down and puts something over them for a blanket and then something else, like a scrap of paper near their mouth for a binky. She then tells them “night night” and kisses them It is so dear I want to cry…
Well, I guess that’s all for now…
Thanks for reading!
Bonnie
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