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March 2, 2003
10/24
Babysitting Co-op
One thing I know about myself is that I am a very resourceful person. If there is something I really want I will try every avenue to get it, and am not quickly thwarted if the first, second, or third attempts do not work. Some might even go so far as to call me bull headed or stubborn, but I’m not naming names (DH). So I have been very very discouraged at my attempts to find a good baby sitter for Ella. This quest probably started when she was about six months old. I found a couple older experienced adults who were interested but they wanted $10-12/ hour and honestly we just can’t afford that right now. I met a nice teenager from our neighborhood who I had high hopes for but, after an initial ‘trial’ baby sit, she just flat out stopped returning my calls (was it something I said? Certainly not my little angel…). I do have one friend, a single mom, who proposed baby sitting swapping but she is very rarely available and doesn’t like to sit past around 10PM, and Jamie and I usually would prefer to go a little later. Jamie’s brother and his family live one town over, and have agreed to sit for us once a month. Right now, this is our only reliable source, and I am not too comfortable using them alone. For one thing, they also aren’t usually available and I also feel somewhat beholden to them and don’t like feeling like I have to ask for a favor time and time again. They are really nice about it, and Ella likes going over there, but I feel very guilty if we need someone on a day that isn’t convenient for them, or if it will be late.
I did feel somewhat justified that I was having such a hard time when a big two page article came out in our paper about the difficulties in finding babysitters these days. It actually focused a lot on the changing lives of teenage girls these days, how they are much more involved in sports and ‘real’ after school jobs then they were in the past. And this is a good thing, I recognize, as teen girls are given more and more options and extracurriculars are not squewed to me more for boys. But the natural fallout, of course, falls on families who can no longer find teens who are willing to, or have the time for, babysitting. I also noticed that this particular article almost exclusively had quotes from frustrated parents within my town, heightening my sense of indignation.
So all this brings me to my point, that I was very interested to see, in a newsletter for parents in my town, that a babysitting co-op was being formed. It seems like a great solution. Essentially free baby sitting services, play groups for Ella, and a chance to get to know some families in my town that were in a similar situation to my own. I immediately put our name on the list and last week we went to a ‘get to know you’ play group at the founding members house. I even got Jamie to agree to go. This was a feat, as he absolutely hates small talk with strangers, but I wanted to present ourselves as a family, even though I agreed this would be the only meeting I really wanted him to attend, and I would go to the rest solo if he wanted. I will admit the first meeting was pretty uncomfortable. Normally at playgroups I will let Ella do her thing and if she spends a good chunk of time with one particular kid a conversation naturally springs up. But at this meeting there were about twenty families and the point was to get to know them well enough that you could trust them with your kid. I imagine it was a tiny bit like the new “Seven minute dating” phenomenon that is very popular and trendy in my area right now. But overall everyone seemed to be nice enough, the kids were… kids and so we were off to a start.
Now when I had originally imagined this thing, I thought that it would be a bunch of moms taking over babysitting duties and probably swapping Popsicle sticks back and forth. HA! After the first meeting we were sent some ‘By-laws’. They were FOUR PAGES LONG!!! Very complex, intricate stuff too. I do concede, after reading them over, that in order to do this right there is some administration involved, but bureaucracy is never fun. And then last night I went to a second, parents only meeting, which was even more hashing over the ‘rules’ and what is acceptable and what is not. It really made me think about how strictly you can be judged in these things. Everything from cleanliness, to baby proofing, to pets, to my backyard… It is intimidating, I must say. I consider myself a pretty good parent but when I got home I took a whole new look at my house. It is pretty much baby proofed, but there are some things that we just discourage Ella from getting into, which she has learned to stay away from for the most part. And I know our dog barks a lot, which can be frightening, and we will really have to make sure to get rid of all her poops in the backyard. And honestly, I know I am not the cleanest person in the world. I think a certain amount of controlled chaos is acceptable, but I have to say I haven’t seen much chaos, controlled or not, in anyone else’s house yet. All the same, I am not willing to throw in the towel yet, as the idea is good in principle.
If anyone is interested in seeing the tentative by-laws I will be posting it on my TTM board. I am also very interested to hear from anyone that has been in a co-op like this in the past. The good, the bad and the funny, please share!
Father and Daughter
Have you heard the new Paul Simon song that is out? It is from the movie the Wild Thornberries and is called Father and Daughter. It is so pretty, it makes me cry every time I hear it (or .at least well up and get all sappy). The chorus goes
I’m gonna watch you shine,
Gonna watch you grow
Gonna paint the signs
So you’ll always know
As long as one and one make two
There will never be a father who loves his daughter more then I love you
Of course it is 100 times prettier when you have Paul Simon’s clear voice singing out the lyrics. Neither is it a song about mothers (obviously) but it still gets to me, maybe even more then if it was about me. Maybe that is because one of my favorite things in the world is to watch Jamie and Ella interact. Or to listen in on their play sessions. To hear two of my favorite people in the world enjoying each other and enriching each other’s lives is so special to me. Jamie is so great with her, I think she really allows him to unleash his silliness, something that I think most men in today’s society have trouble doing, even though it can be so much fun. And she reacts to him in a very different way then me, a little more goofy.
3/1
Today I took Ella to a local children’s singer, Steve Songs. We have a number of his CDs so we both knew the music and could really get into it. Ella was so funny to watch. She has the most spasmodic dancing style that involves jerking her body in all directions including up and down and stomping her feet and sometimes spinning in circles with her hands in the air. Sometimes she would even fall over in the heat of the moment, or try to do a spontaneous somersault. I have to say, I didn’t see much rhythm there, especially since sometimes she was dancing even when there wasn’t any music playing, but she definitely got an ‘A’ for enthusiasm. I think babies and toddlers dancing are just the cutest things but I wonder why it seems to be such a universal love for the young crowd. It’s clearly instinctual since they all seem to do it in one form or another but why? I can’t see any evolutionary basis for wanting to move your body to the music. Well, for whatever reason it is great fun to watch. So nice to see spirits true and free before the elements of doubt and conformity and embarrassment are thrown in.
Random cute things section:
Ella loves to brush her teeth. Anytime we are even close to the bathroom she starts up “Teeth! Teeth!” and we have to give her her toothbrush and she wanders around chewing on it. If we are actually brushing our teeth it is even more fun. Then she stands there watching us and grinning and gnawing away on the bristles of her brush. Hey, she could have worse obsessions, right??
She also loves her crib. One reason I think may be because here (and in the car) are the only places she is allowed to have her binky and so it is a very comforting, restful place to her. Lately though she has wanted to take that love with her it seems. When we go to take her out of the crib she will give us her soft blanket, indicating she wants to bring it with her. That was fine but now she wants to bring everything with her—both her blankets and all three of her stuffed animals, and her water that she keeps in there with her. Everything but the binky (since she knows that is not negotiable). It is funny enough that we indulge her, but woe be the parent that tries to put her back in the crib later and all her friends are missing!
I am SO HAPPY that is is finally March, since this month to me means the end of winter. This has been a long, cold, sickly winter for my family and I say good riddance and bring on the crocuses!!!
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