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Allisun's Diary Entries

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October 18, 2002

15 and a half months old and Thanksgiving came from out of nowhere.

It was Thursday when I started to think about Thanksgiving. I knew we HAD to have a turkey, the option was when. We had a baptism Sunday which left Saturday or Monday but even with the best choreographing, a turkey dinner Monday would be too painful because of work the next day. That left me with two days, I tore down to the freezer and hauled out a turkey. It seemed small and probably wasn't, but once I've registered a size issue in my head, I'll never shake it. With exactly one hour before Survivor, I flew out of the house like a wild woman. First stop, Loblaws, where the woman at customer service wondered who she should call to see if she was actually allowed to take back a turkey. With two hands on the counter, I told her she didn't understand, I HAD TO HAVE a bigger turkey. She silently went ahead, I told her I'd do her a favour and bring the one I was returning to the back. Obviously I confused them too.

I had no idea the utter chaos I would find. First of all, almost EVERY turkey was smaller than mine. There had to be fifty people and we were all frantically digging for bigger. I was the only one without a cart and twice, when I found a decent one and had it right in front of me, someone tried to steal it. You can't imagine how hostile people would get, asking me if I was going to keep the turkey I was holding in my arms. Did they think I was picking it for them? I hauled my turkey back to the butcher to ask if it was at all possible there were more in the back somewhere and I had a trail of people following me. The butcher suggested a fresh one and brought me to them. It was as if they were giving away free cars, arms were flying around, people were shoving, carts banging all over the place and I walked out of there with an almost 19 pound turkey.

I got out fast lest I be mugged and took off for Club Price so I could stock up on everything else. I was at this point planning a big huge turkey dinner and I still hadn't found people to come over. In the history of Sam's Club and Club Price, there is no question I set a speed record, because I was in my family room in front of Survivor with a minute to spare. Sayonara Ghandia baby.

Friday morning I tossed invites to anyone who passed my path. I stopped at ten adults and six kids only because we were going out for dinner with friends that night, so when in the hell did I think I was going to pull all this off? Friday after work, I set another record when I hit two holiday-Friday packed grocery stores and got everything home in time for our reservation. Karim mentioned his mother made the best stuffing in the world. Inside I cringed because I had been hoping to keep that off the menu, since I'm not a fan of soggy muck yuck. I went digging through a couple recipe binders and miraculously found a recipe I had torn out of a magazine; cranberry almond wild rice stuffing. Perfect! In the morning I'd go pick up whatever I needed.

Saturday morning dawned bright, Remo took the little working man with him and Kaillan and I took off early on our errands. First stop again, Loblaws. Gorgeous pumpkins were an incredible dollar each till they ran out, so now a hundred and fifty people were in a panic. I bought ten because everyone else was. Inside the store I booted up the aisles with my recipe, tossing in what I needed. I stopped short when I saw Dr. Bray, obviously fresh from his rounds, talking to someone in my aisle. Crap. I just didn't want to bump into him there because I haven't done my test yet and he has to think I'm a stalking nut, so I 180'd out of the aisle and then SMASH, Kaillan dropped the sage jar. Crap. Crap. Crap. Everybody who worked in the store was out selling pumpkins and a whole lot of shoppers stopped, not to help me or kick some of the glass away, they stopped solely to see if I would take care of my mess. I tore into the back swinging warehouse doors and put the problem on some kid who's probably not even allowed out of the warehouse and saw Dr. Bray stepping over my sage. Knowing me, he probably knew. I tried once to become an international spy, went so far as to sign up for the Canadian Military. Is it any wonder they wouldn't take me?

At home things were somewhat controlled, somewhat tumultuousness. Excavation was being done outside and inside we had people hauling out the insulation the pigeons had destroyed. Why today Remo? In fairness, I have to say turkey dinner is easy in that you can prepare so much ahead of time; I had cream of leek and potato soup ready, garlic and chive mashed potatoes, brown sugar turnip, green beans with lemon, cauliflower, corn and carrots and salad. I felt sick when I discovered I'd left my stuffing recipe in the shopping cart but I'm a decent cook so I decided to give it a shot. When it turned out really well I ballooned into an amazing cook and I even made my own cranberry sauce too. I had no idea how easy it is and anybody who's never made it will think you're Martha.

We had a wonderful time with everybody. The kids part of the meal is always a little rough because it's hard enough for the grown ups to focus with a group, never mind feeding the kids when all they want is pop anyways. I had bought a Chicken Soup for the Soul game and being that it was Thanksgiving and we'd managed to get the kids in their jammies and half of them were calm (mostly because mine fell asleep), it was the perfect mood for it. There were enough kids awake we couldn't play properly so we'd just ask questions around the table. In one of mine, I had to name three shows I would be embarrassed to admit watching. It was awful because I could admit more than three. It left me to wonder what I watched before all these shows came on, was life just decent programming?

I haven't seen My Big Fat Greek Wedding yet, but on Sunday we went to a big fat Greek Baptism and everything was exceptionally beautiful. As if it was possible, I missed most of the two hour ceremony because Kaillan was like a wild hellion tearing around the place with happy squeals and shushing anyone who would glance her way. The Greek side loved her and when she'd go tearing into their benches with a kiss on their knees they'd try to pick her up. She'd arch back and wiggle off to the next aisle. I gave up till she became obsessed with the priest, do we call them priests in Orthodox? Remo and Brandan pretended we didn't belong to them. We had a seven course meal at the reception and Kaillan sat still for one of it. I have to give the three-to-ten-year-old-girl-crowd credit though, because they kept after her all night. She's a seriously social girl, can boogie till the end, but by Gawd, do not pick her up.

As if by this point, you want to know what else. Last weekend we were at a birthday party and Kaillan was out on the deck. Do you know how painful a splinter is? Kaillan had EIGHT of them in her hand. I beat myself up at first because it took two days to notice them, but in fairness, I'm a huge hand washer and I never really inspect the palms, and she did in fact do everything to hide them, protect them I guess, from hurting more. I called Dr. Kugelmass in a panic, but she said honestly I would be able to get them out gentler than they could. Kaillan was very good during my first attempt, she loved soaking her hands because she could flood the kitchen and she was eagerly holding her hand for me. Ten minutes into it she quit the scene and I decided I had the wrong equipment anyways. Remo went out and bought every kind of tweezer in the world and we started again but Kaillan flipped out, flipped back, flipped down. When she cried herself to sleep we decided to give it a go again. Remo's back was breaking trying to hold her still and I felt like a circus act trying to manipulate the things out. They kept breaking off and in her sleep Kaillan was furious and sort of stirring. I made a monumental decision. I decided to get the soother we cut out a month ago and slip it in her mouth if she started to wake. To calm her. It was the first time in twelve years Remo's ever been adamant aagainst anything, but I'm her mother and I know better. Her eyes flickered open and I slipped it in. Eyes popped open wide as the room and she pulled it out of her mouth. Smiled at us, looked at it again and shoved it back in her mouth. Pulled it out, smiled, shoved it back in.

"Now look at what you've done".

I maintained she was too tired so as I took it out and hid it, I said she would never remember. Kaillan started her descent. She was tired and pissed off and her body language was clear, give it back, NOW. I rocked her, or at least attempted the act of rocking, then at midnight we tried again. We were awake with her till 2:30 and we were getting nowhere. At 5:00am I went at it again and pretty much got them all out and I can't explain the complete physical exhaustion that came with this adventure. Never in a future life will I become a surgeon.

As if that mess wasn't enough, that night we had a nurse coming over to give Kaillan her chicken pox vaccine. It was the last visit of her vaccine study and I had no idea they had to take seven more vials of blood. The nurse said it had to come from the splinter hand. I gave a flat no, I certainly didn't want to drop out of the study at the end of it, but there was no way she was going to take the blood from that poor child's splinter hand. It means poking two finger tips and then squeezing everything out of them. Finally she agreed to use her left hand even though it would be more difficult and Kaillan totally freaked out. Even I thought I would throw up. She screamed bloody murder, kicked and flung herself violently off me. Her face was purple, her eyes were bloodshot and the nurse said in her whole career of this, she'd never seen a baby with such strong will. God love her, God love me. Brandan was pretty worried and offered to take the vaccine for his baby. God love him too.

I've been in a time management course at work, can you tell? Do I write smarter already? My goal today is to start using an agenda. That is to write things down in one and go back and refer to it all day long. A few of us are being headed by AmyF in my getting organized club and I have yet to find the life changing book. I would like to think a bandit came in and stole it but odds are it's snuggled in a safe place. The time management course has me pumped and motivated and I'm going at this new me at a baby steps pace. Simply one thing at a time.

Tuesday night, Remo and I watched the movie Life as a House with Kevin Kline. We'd rented it two weeks ago and since we could have bought the movie ten times for all the late charges, we HAD to watch it. I'm not wrecking it by saying I cried for two hours. And not just a gentle sob, at times I was howling. I came out of it swearing I would live for today and never again put things off and my first thought was Brandan and his train. I had promised him all summer I would take him on it with me so I told Remo he had to, the very next day, after he brought Brandan to the doctor's, drive him downtown so we could take the train and the metro home with me.

They came right after lunch, Brandan was thrilled, I was nervous. What if he got all hyper on me? Downstairs we have metal detectors and those airport conveyor belts you pass your things through and he loved that part, especially because he thinks all the security guys are policemen. In the elevator up I told him we had to be really quiet, so quiet, everyone wouldn't know he was there. He was amazing. I had Remo bring his restaurant bag of entertainment and we didn't even touch it. He made pictures for everyone in the office and quietly delivered them. I was so proud of him. Everyone in the office was really great with him, I asked who was his favourite. He said it was the man without the white shirt because the white shirt man didn't say much about his picture till after. Too late according to his standards. We took the train and he was really excited, although he said he'd still rather be a working man like Papa. As Brandan stared out the window, I saw him differently, somehow more independent. I'm just a spoke in his wheel.

I don't know what it is but this Thanksgiving I felt more grateful than ever for what I have. Two incredible children, Remo, amazing friends, a beautiful home and knock on wood, so far, great health. I'm not sweating small stuff and I don't know why all of a sudden I feel so calm, so peaceful. Remo's days are getting a little shorter, I cleaned out my e-mails, and sorted out some piles of mess, my laundry's caught up - is a little order enough to make life that much better?

I know there's probably a hundred million things I could say but I started sniffling and once I use one Kleenex my head is a write-off. Imagine being allergic to Kleenex?

Always,

Allisun






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