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September 25, 2002
Almost 15 months
I feel bad because it's been so long since my last entry but you have to know we were everywhere but hiding. It's as if we woke up one morning a month ago and paused long enough to consider "holy crap summer is almost over"and then we took off in a panic trying to squeeze in EVERYTHING.
When I last left off we'd gone for the one shot deal. Then we went to Parc Safari with the kids and friends and their kids and thought what have we done? The zoo was great even though it was at least four hundred degrees and we felt like sopping, flopping mops. We figured we'd take the kids to the pool area to cool them off and it's then that ultimate panic settled in. There were at least a million kids in that water and I was watching out for Nina and my own and it was impossible. You'd find Nina and lose Brandan. Find him, look down at Kaillan and lose Brandan again. Kaillan was obsessed with a motorcycle gang family and stormed back to them every time I pried her away. I'd look frantically for Brandan and then breathe a sigh of relief to find him, only to discover it wasn't Brandan! All the bathing suits looked the same and all the kids were the same size and Remo asked what we would do with another?
Hats with those whirlie things on them. Hey, that's not a bad idea!
We got in our cars and drove around the Safari part of the zoo where the animals run wild and stick their slobbering noses right in the window. The back row in the van flips somehow to make a seat, it seemed like everyone was hanging out like that, so Kaillan helped Remo drive and Brandan and I strapped ourselves on that seat concoction, legs dangling out. I was so busy worrying about carbon monoxide poisoning I hadn't yet considered the wild animals. We started our adventure and I discovered I have very little trust in Remo. Yes, there was a buffalo blocking the road ahead, but he'd already forgotten the pack of Zebras coming after us. Brandan's eyes were popping out of his head and he was chanting over and over about how he never wanted to come back there again. We picked up the safari pace and headed over to the rides. The kids went on rides I thought they'd throw up on, but they'd beg to go again. We were sticky hot, filthy dirty and wiped out when we finally closed the park and headed home.
The following Sunday, the plan was to go to a Montreal Expos baseball game. We're losing the team for a bunch of reasons so Remo really wanted to take the kids in case it's the last chance they'll ever see the Expos play. I was dragging my feet. I really wanted Brandan to be there because he's an at age now where he can suck it all in, but Kaillan? Cooping her up in a seat for a couple hours? I would rather eat a whack of hot peppers. I was amazed because in a short amount of time Brandan knew as much as I do about baseball, but the little livewire was a mess. So determined was she to climb up and down the dirty, dangerous stairs, so insistent was she that every person within a fifty seat radius watch her and not the game, that we took turns hanging outside the stadium. I never figured out if the people around us hated our guts because we were such a distraction, or if that could've been pity because we have to live with this child with unbelievable energy.
At one point, I bought Brandan a baseball with all the players signatures on it. Because there wasn't an Expos marking on it, I wondered how would he one day know what the ball was about, so I went back to the kiosk and asked if there was a ball with a marking AND signatures. The kid sold me stickers and sent me on my way. There didn't seem like much point in this because I'd have to cover the signatures with the stickers, so I went back and asked if I could return the ball and the stickers and get the ball with only the Expos marking. I'd now succeeded in irritating the people outside the stadium too. I gave Brandan his ball and explained we would have to find a special place, maybe his night table drawers, to keep all his most special treasures. And then I was hit with a wave of I don't know what. It felt like just a little while ago I was stashing away my own pieces of sentimental value and here Brandan was there already, such a big boy with such important things to do. We hugged till he nearly squeezed my liver out my ears and he told me he roved me with his whole rife (we still pronounce R's like L's) and I was truly awestruck by how incredibly blessed we were to have this amazing child in our lives. He's strong and kind and good and man, are we lucky.
You really never know when you're making a memory.
I'm racking my brain trying to remember everything else.
A couple weeks ago, Kaillan wasn't eating well at all. I wanted to write it off as teething so I flipped her on my lap and monkeyed my way into her mouth. When I saw a big purple lump on the top of her gum I felt ill. What the hell was that? It was a Saturday, so my dentist was off but they referred me to another clinic and we loaded up the family in the car and hustled over. We looked like a bunch of rugrats, Brandan was wearing working man clothes and plastered in working man mud, Kaillan was totally mismatched and I was wearing the clothes I'd just scrubbed the house in. Aside from not looking presentable, we took up an incredible amount of space in a tiny little room and somehow all the hygienists were in there too. The dentist walked off the catwalk and into our room and really, did he start school when he was born? He had never seen anything like the cyst in her mouth so he suggested having his colleague take a look as well. In walked model number two. Kaillan has become very men-shy and there's no way anybody is looking in her mouth without a fight and I swear, the two fashion plates didn't know what hit them. She shrieked like a wild animal.
At this point every person in the clinic was in the room, and the dentists were like siamese twins up against the wall. In the calmest, gentlest voices they explained, or was that suggested, that she has erupted cysts in her mouth that will probably clear up when the teeth come through. And what do I do when that happens? They said to pack gauze in her mouth. I said no problem, but wondered what they would do when she bit my hand off and choked on the gauze. They said if it was still there in two months I should probably bring her for a second opinion. A few days later she had another one on the other side, there was no way I waiting two months for a second opinion.
The night Survivor was kicking off was our appointment, but I had choreographed us getting there and getting home in time, like a master. Dr. Baskin happened to be in front when we arrived and I daresay he was not terrified to see us. As a matter of fact, he calmly stated we were the first family to be so eager that we were there five days early for our appointment. Remo gave me THAT look. He didn't have time to squeeze Remo and Brandan in but he said he'd look at Kaillan right away. She was very NOT interested and suctioned every smidgen of her body to every smidgen of me. I tried explaining the story of going to the other clinic and how they were very nice but not overly experienced with children, but when I got to the part about the gauze, I lost it. I started to laugh uncontrollably. I was absolutely finished and it wasn't even particularly funny. Just when I thought I was calm enough to finish my sentence, I went off again. I know he thought I was a nut but at one point he did manage to get into Kaillan's mouth and he told me she has haematomas, bruising surrounding the teeth coming in. Yes, it does probably cause pain but there's really nothing we can do but give her Tempra if she ever gets really uncomfortable. I asked if maybe we should not take away her soother, if we should wait till the teeth came in and he said no. This is the part where Kaillan stopped crying so she could concentrate on every single word he was saying. And we think her vocabulary is limited.
We walked out of there and Kaillan went from using a soother only to sleep, to having one in her mouth and somehow carrying four all at once, ALL day long. We were going away for the weekend and so not to bother the rest of the gang, decided to wait till we got back to get rid of the soother. We hadn't ironed out a plan of action, but it was coming. And Kaillan knew.
The weekend was absolutely amazing. There's a resort about two hours away from Montreal called Mont Tremblant, and people travel from all over the world to stay there again and again. The resort itself is beautiful, nestled in what they call a mountain (I'm from the Rocky Mountains though so I know better), on a lake. You rent a beautifully decorated, fully equipped condo and there's all kinds of activities going on. We keep going back to the same condos because there's hiking trails, waterfalls, a lagoon and a great heated pool all tucked in among a forest. The leaves were changing, the weather was amazing and I think I mentioned it already, the resort is breathtaking. We were five couples with nine kids so things were bustling.
I took Friday off so we could get a head start but I had so much stuff to pack that didn't happen. Everyone was getting in late so we got there when we got there and just like everytime before, I vowed that's where I'll retire. Saturday morning we were all up early, we did a big breakfast and set off on an adventure. The 4-5 year old crowd fell apart at one point because all of them wanted to drive the imaginary bus so when it started sprinkling, we all raced back to our condos to make mouth watering chocolate chip cookies. That would have been a serious highlight had I not measured a cup of salt in the batch in place of sugar. It was more powerful than play-dough.
The day went on, we played at the little park, went down to the village and squeezed 17 people in 6 spots on a shuttle bus, went for a walk to watch the sun set. When the kids had eaten and were remotely settled we started preparing a meal that was to die for. We grilled chicken and amazing grilled vegetables on the barbeque, a great salad, pasta, wine and chocolate mouse. We ate by candle light and were entertained by the kids; they dressed themselves up and belted out songs. Two of them knew the words and the rest were making them up but all of them had microphones and all of them gave it their everything. One by one, the kids dropped off and we settled in guys against the girls, in a match of Cranium. Testosterone seemed to rule but in the end I don't know who actually won. It felt like we were doing an awful lot of rule changing as we went along. All I know is I laughed my guts out and it was a weekend we sort of wished would never end. When we finally got home we were totally wiped out but it was worth it.
Yesterday was Remo and Brandan's dentist appointments and day one of dropping the soother, cold turkey.
Brandan was incredible in his appointment. He looked so small in that big chair and he diligently obeyed every instruction. Dr. Baskin used all the gear to do a proper cleaning and Brandan held his mouth open wider than a crocodile, only his eyes were wider, and he blinked maybe four times in twenty minutes. I made sure Dr. Baskin was clear on one thing: Remo may say he flosses, but it's not true.
On the way to the dentist, we were the car right behind Dr. Bray (I'm feeling like I'm stalking him). We were waiting for the train to pass and I opted not to get out and mention the outcome of the one shot deal. It really was the strangest thing. I'm normally a long cycle gal but never before in my life did I go 37 days. It gave me maybe five more days to consider how much our lives would change with another baby and cost me $50 in tests. I ultimately came to a meticulously planned, scientifically calculated solution. A two shot deal. I'll give it another go and then wait a year. And the honest to God's truth is I can't figure out who's going to be in charge of a new one. The two I already own are aging me considerably.
A really devastating thing happened to one of the Mom's in our iparenting community. It shook all of us up and left us heartbroken, terrified and angry. Jenny, mother of Reilly and a diary writer for PregancyToday (http://pregnancytoday.com/diary/jenny2/092202.htm), carried her baby into a hospital because something was not right. They then learned that "Reilly had been shaken, not just a little shaken, but shaken with such brutal force that she was lucky to be alive". That anyone would hurt a child is cruelly unthinkable but it happens and Julie's plea became all of ours. If I tell her story and then someone else tells her story maybe it'll get to one person who doesn't know better. Babies are diagnosed every single day with Shaken Baby Syndrome and most of the time they aren't this lucky. The National Center on Shaken Baby Syndrome is http://www.dontshake.com/.
All of a sudden I don't feel like writing anymore. Man, how do I end on an up note? I picked up a card at the store the other day and on the front of it was a soaked to the bone wide eyed freaked out cat. Inside it said "ever have one of those lives?" It's one of THOSE weeks. Alicia, Julia, AmyF and Shannon, I owe you all responses. Give me till Friday and I'll catch up.
Four year old Brandan has a lot of important things on his mind these days. We woke up one morning terrified we'd wasted the summer, he woke up concerned about who made the moon. Remo's answer: nobody. My answer: it has been there forever. Brandan said it's not like that at all and asked me to write this down. He said they made it and put it on a special kind of truck that fried to the crouds. They needed an arrow so they could attach onto the clouds, and then they put a drill on so they could drill through. It was a drill THIS big. It was a big job. A big ball had to shoot out in a circle so the moon could pssssshhhhhtttt (sound effects included) out. A steam roller and a cement truck had to go. It took them 5 days and they all went to bed. And that's it.
Silly us, what were we thinking.
Allisun
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