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Amanda's Diary Entries Diary Navigation: Choose A Diary Entry -------------------- Latest Entry: 4/9/07 -------------------- 3/12/07 2/16/07 1/5/07 11/29/06 11/13/06 10/27/06 10/11/06 9/19/06 8/13/06 7/30/06 7/19/06 7/15/06 7/4/06 6/26/06 6/21/06 6/19/06 -------------------- Amanda's Introduction

Too Many Cooks

July 30, 2006

I have been a super-crabby-pants this week, surpassing even my toddler.  I rant only in social acceptable ways, though, such as over wine with the girls on my night out or over the phone with my best friend when everyone has left me enough time to myself.  It would be so much easier, I sometimes think, if I could just lay down on the floor and scream until everyone rushed to placate me. 

First, the power outage in my city lasted five days for my household.  No a/c, no VCR, no refrigerated food.  To top it off, there was a heat wave, so I got to travel with my toddler to the homes of relatives while my husband stayed home with the pets and the putrefying refrigerator.  A toddler is not a big fan of change, so the first night of the storm we heard about how the "ights" were "boten" every half hour, all night.  Even the prospect of candles and flashlights couldn't soothe him to sleep.  The next day we went to my sister's house in the country.  I love my sister and her family dearly, but I think most sisters appreciate that they are grown up enough not to ever have to live with each other again.  If I didn't before, I do now.  My sister is very perfect, and her house is beautifully decorated and maintained, down to the "pupple seets, pupple ights, pupple walls" in my niece's room where we slept.  They also live in a smaller, basement-free ranch home.  It's the perfect size for them, but at our house we cherish the extra rooms and the ability to pick any of two floors or the basement to escape the rest of humanity.  We left as soon as the heat broke, appreciative but glad to be going home.

That evening a friend called in tears.  Her housemate had gone crazy, smashing windows, screaming insults, insisting on candlelight housekeeping in the basement...  I drove right over--she doesn't drive-- and brought her back to stay with us.  In a situation like that there is no other option.  But houseguests don't always respect the general order of the house, and after a few days being on hostess duty began to wear.  She and Cai got along very well, but she seemed unfamiliar with houseguest ettiquette, and I am equally unfamiliar with the cleaning, cooking, shopping, serving, driving, and availability apparently expected from long term hosts.  Plus, she wasn't used to be around children regularly, so Cai has a few new salty words in his vocabulary.  This weekend she moved into a new place, but we are apparently her only friends with time, energy and a van, because we made over 7 trips between her places.  She asked for more, but between Cai and a huge project Ben and I have due tomorrow morning, we just couldn't manage it.  Apparently friends shouldn't borrow money OR be long-term guests if they want to remain on good terms.  Oh dear.

And Cai's lead levels are up.  To combat this, we sent letters to all of our friends and relatives detailing how they can help us combat lead in his environment (buying American-made toys, cutting down on electronic gifts, letting us know about construction, etc.).  At home we are increasing his iron intake, as that will help flush the lead from his body.  Most of the letter's recipients were wonderfully understanding, but my older sister called and told me that she read about a cream that can be rubbed on the wrist every two weeks to help clear the body of lead.  I told her that iron does the same thing, and that we were increasing the iron in his diet.  "No!" she asserted, "This actually removes the lead from the body!"  This sounds a little odd to me, but she offered to send me the article, and I try to consider everything.  But she also insisted that his innoculations-- gotten a month before the lead test--  could have affected the results (instead of the high lead content in almost all foreign-made toys, in any homes built before 1978, and non-Crayola art supplies).  She went on to say that she wasn't going to finish my younger niece's shots and that her friend had not gotten 3 of her 5 boys innoculated because of the scary results of innoculations.  I kept repeating, "OK, OK", because my views differ due to personal experience and because I think the decision to innoculate or not (unless made by school rules) is a personal choice similar to circumcision.  In my own experience, I know a mother whose uninnoculated infant died in the whooping cough scare last year.  Plus my cousin just had to drop out of Navy SEAL training because he developed shingles-- something that only people who have had chicken pox develop.  If they have an innoculation that can prevent my son from getting both chicken pox AND shingles, I feel like I should get that for him so that he doesn't suffer later.    But I didn't want to argue about it.  I got off the phone resenting her "help", as I have been more and more lately.  When Cai was small and less obvious, I was glad to have someone to suggest that it might be time for the walker, or the swing, or solid food.  Now I suffer through 15 minute lectures on how we need to show more structured guidance when I mention my exasperation at his current indecisive stage ( I didn't say we weren't dealing with it, just that it was a pain!).  She is a good mom, but I feel my toes being trod upon.

But maybe that's because this week I've had too many other people.  I long for quiet time with my son and my husband.  Maybe a quiet, phone-free walk in the park.  Before this week I would have said I needed a break from my family.  Now I see that we are just perfect together, without anyone else.  But sadly, all families must interact with the outside some time...