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Sorry it took so long
June 19, 2006
In the life of every mother, a little chaos must fall. In the case of the two months since I wrote my introduction, I've had two family deaths, two defunct cars, and a job change on the part of my husband. Maybe I should say that it's been a lot of chaos.
My little brother-- 27-- died in a freak kickboxing accident. While the shock and grief seemed unbearable at the time and will probably weigh heavily on my mind for years, the true horror in all of this is that my brother-- who was an incredible father-- left behind three young sons. I could not have understood what that meant before I had my son. I cannot imagine what his fiancee is going through right now, having to explain to my 3 year old nephew again and again that his daddy isn't coming home. My son is resilient, but even not seeing one of his parents one whole day really upsets him.
I am trying to see more of my nephews ( I live at least an hour away from almost every other person in my family), but that is causing a little guilt-- I should have done this a long time ago, instead of waiting for a tragedy to motivate me. My son thinks his cousins are where it's at, which makes me sad to think that the distance will prevent him from seeing his (7!) cousins as much as he would like. But that distance has saved my sanity-- while I love my family, I prefer to love them from a distance. Plus, they all like ticks and chiggers and the smell of cow manure. Ahhem. Or at least they live in the country, and I live within walking distance to the library and lattees made to order.
But I still wish I had spent more time with my brother.
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