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When Weaning Knocks You for an Emotional Loop By Jessica Woods
As we gradually step back to watch our children grow bigger and stronger – without timeouts for breastfeeding – it is essential to maintain the physical closeness that nursing provides. Many moms transition "nursing time" into "story time" or dedicate one-on-one time to hair brushing, back rubbing or singing.
Jacqueline and her daughter worked out a solution. "We stopped [nursing] on [my daughter's] third birthday," she says. "I remember explaining to her how much I loved it but that it wasn't comfortable for me anymore, and that we would snuggle, hug or tickle each other whenever she wanted 'babu.'"
Some children are resourceful and will do whatever it takes to get the contact they crave. Judy V., a college professor in Massachusetts, has experienced this firsthand. "I did not feel a strong loss for moving on that some women feel," she says. "That may be because I was happy to have my boobs back. It may also be because I seemed to still have about the same amount of body contact with the kids – they just weren't nursing. Still, when I cook, I have kids hanging on my legs or standing on my feet."
No matter when or how it takes place, weaning is the end to a profound and amazing relationship. Many moms can remember the last time they nursed in vivid detail. Flo W., an Ohio mom of three, remembers the last time she breastfed her youngest daughter, who weaned at 11 months old. "I will never forget the last time [my daughter] nursed," she says. "It was a Sunday morning, and we were sitting in my recliner in the bedroom. She was a lovely baby with a head full of thick, black hair and a smile as big as her tiny body. She really didn't nurse much, but we snuggled. I felt contented to have nursed her for that long, and blessed to have shared such a wonderful bond, yet a little sad because a chapter of my life was closing."