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When Weaning Knocks You for an Emotional Loop By Jessica Woods
er for both to move on and leave baby things behind."
In her practice, Wolfe-Medovic sees that women weaning an older child often have an easier time. "[It's easier] physically, because as the baby nurses less, the mom makes less milk, so she is more comfortable, and emotionally women just feel this is a milestone their baby has reached," she says.
Jacqueline H. of Redwood City, Calif., nursed her daughter until she was 3, and they actively approached weaning as a milestone event. "We were both prepared and had processed it beforehand," she says. "We both saw it as a wonderful thing that had ended, but we didn't really miss it because we had our fill and were still very physically close. We saw it as a milestone and something to be celebrated."
Denise S., a Northern California mother weaned her middle son at 11 months old. "It was definitely hard to cut out nursing completely," she says. "Nursing was a very special bonding time for [my son and me]. I always felt very peaceful and 'womanly' while nursing. I was sad to see this part of [his] life end, but I looked at it as him going to the next step of becoming a toddler instead of a baby."
Weaning is an acknowledgement of the passage of time and can be especially poignant for those who are not planning to have any more children. Carrie Baker, the mother of four in Hamilton, Texas, says she was comfortable weaning her first child because she knew she would breastfeed again, but her perspective changed when weaning her other children. "With [Nos. 2 and 3] I was very sad," she says. "Our last two babies were not planned, and so I was afraid I might never have the opportunity to nurse again."
Pegi P. of San Jose, Calif., the mother of three, says that the sadness she felt when weaning was offset by the fact that she was pregnant. "I personally felt a bit conflicted when I stopped breastfeeding," she says. "The good news was that I transferred my nurturing from the outside baby to the inside baby, but I was still a little sad – also a little free."
Pegi's comment illustrates the complex and mixed emotions many moms feel at the end of this phase in their child's life. The sorrow at the end of this chapter is tempered by the thrill of beginning a new chapter in the book that is your child's life.