quick clicks

babies today articles

babies today q&a

toddlers today articles

toddlers today q&a

breastfeed.com articles

breastfeed.com q&a

community & groups

research baby names

prepare a birth plan

content channels

ip channel rss feeds

read birth stories

read parenting stories

recommended books

e-newsletters

safety recalls

ip diaries

ip store

mom of the month

dad of the month

editor's letter

letters to the editor

Toilet Training

Is My Child Ready?

By Jessica Williams

Control is very important when it comes to toilet training. No, I am not talking about controlling your toddler; I'm talking about the control your toddler has over his bladder or bowel movements. To give you an idea of why it is hard for kids to learn control, let's review the basic elimination process. When you have to go the bathroom, either to urinate or to have a bowel movement, you feel an urge. Some people feel it for a long time before they have to go; some people only feel it for a few minutes. When you feel that urge, you know what it means. You understand what your body is telling you. So you go to the bathroom. Because you've been doing it for so long, you may not always notice that you have to control your urge until you are able to get to the bathroom.

Children are not born with this same understanding – and they are certainly not born with control. In fact, babies under 12 months of age have no control over their bladder or bowel movements and little control for about six months after that, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP). So a child younger than 18 months is less likely to be toilet trained, simply because he or she cannot control the urge long enough to go to the bathroom and get on a potty.

And then there is the issue of understanding the urge. Imagine having an itch in your ear every 3 to 4 hours each and every day. You would probably rub at it, wonder about it and eventually adjust and adapt to it. Now, let's imagine that someone tells you that you can't rub at your ear (which was such a relief) when it itches until you walk down to the end of the street and sit on a park bench. Only then can you rub your ear. You'd be pretty confused, wouldn't you? Of course, if everyone else were doing it, you would eventually follow along – especially if people looked at you with disapproving glances when you rubbed it before you got to the bench – and you would begin to understand that this is what is expected of you. You see, kids don't understand why