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Your One-kid Demolition Derby
Why Toddlers Can be Destructive and Why It's Normal By Alexandria Powell
There's no need to feel guilty if you won't allow your toddler to squeeze out an entire tube of toothpaste on the bathroom floor. "Just because it's doable doesn't mean it has to be done," says Dr. Klein. "On the other hand, you don't want to shame them or make them feel bad for doing it."
For example, one of the most common complaints Dr. Klein hears from parents is that their toddlers throw things. Two-year-olds have a really high need to throw, says Dr. Klein. She advises the parents she works with to have buckets ready. "You can say to the child, 'Oh, you need to throw? Throw in here,'" she says. "You're redirecting them in a way that's kind of contained. They need to throw, but [it would be] mayhem if they were allowed to throw things all over the place. But they can throw into a bucket."
Toddlers have no impulse control, and it's up to a loving caregiver to be that control for them. "By saying, 'I'm not going to let you do that' or 'I can't let you do that,' you're basically bringing the control to [the toddler]," says Dr. Klein. Eventually they internalize it and are able to stop all by themselves.