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Home › Articles › Toddlers › In a New Direction

In a New Direction

Redirecting Negative Toddler Energy

By Teri Brown

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There is perhaps no creature on earth that has more energy than a toddler. Their developing minds can think of so many marvelous things to try, but often their bodies and coordination lag behind. Toddlers feel strong emotions but may not have the ability to articulate them. Is it any wonder so much of their energy comes out in a negative manner?

Moms everywhere can share stories of negative toddler energy that appears in the most inappropriate places: at the grocery store, during church or at a restaurant, to name a few. Tamra Orr, a mother of four from Gresham, Ore., remembers those days well.

"When my toddlers began to explode with some of that overwhelming energy and it was going in negative directions like hitting, yelling, etc., I would try to remember that their emotions were as valid as mine," says Orr. "I would sit down and rock and talk with them and see if I could figure out the source of distress. Were they hungry, tired, angry, sad or bored? What could be done to make any or all of those better?"

What Orr learned was something all parents of toddlers should know: How to redirect their toddler's negative energy into something more appropriate.

Changing Course
Jodi Rosenberg, a preschool teacher for The Children's All Day School in New York, N.Y., believes negative energy is very normal at this age. "Although each child is different, most toddlers are in an egocentric stage of development," says Rosenberg. "Most things revolve around them and what they want at the present time."

Rosenberg says there are several steps parents can try to redirect negative energy. First, you should acknowledge the child's negative feelings. Second, explain in simple terms why the child cannot have what they want to at this time, followed by the words the child can use next time. The last thing is to redirect the child by showing him other things he can play with or do. For example, you might say: "I know you want that toy, but Luke is using it now. You can have it when he is finished. Why don't we play with the cooking set for right now?"

"Toddlers are often well redirected after their frustration has been acknowledged," says Rosenberg.

Dr. Virginia Shiller, a licensed psychologist and author of the book, Rewards for Kids! Ready-to-Use Charts & Activities for Positive Parenting

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