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Home › Articles › Discipline › Control Those Temper Tantrums

Control Those Temper Tantrums

Taming Toddler Outbursts

By Elizabeth Pantley

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Get out of Dodge
When a tantrum starts, put your face next to your child's ear and announce, "Stop now or we go out to the car." If he doesn't stop, pick him up or lead him to the car. Sit him in the back seat while you stand outside the door (or, in foul weather, sit in the front seat and pointedly ignore him). An alternative to the car is to find a secluded bench or quiet corner. If he doesn't stop quickly, and you can change your schedule, go home. Send him to his room for a specified time (about 3 minutes for every year of age, for example, or 15 minutes for a 5 year old.) The extra time it takes to do this once or twice will establish great credibility and can save you from many painful hours at the mall with an obstinate teenager.

Get HIS Attention
Get eye level with your child and say, "Follow me." Break eye contact and begin to walk away. Walk slowly where he can see you. Many children will follow. If yours doesn't, stop a short distance away and wait, pretending interest in something else, while you wait. After a few minutes pass, and your child has calmed down, you can approach your child, hold him by the hand, and say, "Let's go now."

Use a Poker Face. Deal with It Later:
Stand above your child with arms crossed and a stern face. Say nothing. When the tantrum is over, complete your errands. When you return home, announce that since your child had a tantrum while you were out, he will suffer a consequence now (no dessert after dinner, staying inside, missing his TV show or going to bed early). Do this once, then use it as your "ace in the hole." At the next public tantrum say, "Stop now or you will stay inside when we get home, like you did last week." You child will remember and know you mean business.


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