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Home › Articles › Discipline › Control Those Temper Tantrums

Control Those Temper Tantrums

Taming Toddler Outbursts

By Elizabeth Pantley

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Question: Yes, yes, I know, "Temper tantrums are a normal childhood reaction to anger and frustration." Knowing this does not make it easier when my daughter's ballistic contortions are punctuated by her piercing screams. There has got to be a way to end this agony! Ideas, please!

Think about it: You're right, it's normal for children to have tantrums. But your response to them will determine if they keep having them and having them and having them.

Child Crying

Create a "Tantrum Place"
Let your child know in advance that all tantrums will take place in one specific room, such as her bedroom, the bathroom or the laundry room. When a tantrum starts, you can escort your child to the "tantrum room" with one brief comment: "You can come out when you're done." If she comes out of the room, and she's still having the tantrum, just lead her back repeating, "You can come out when you're done." At first your child may spend the whole day in the tantrum room, but she'll quickly find out that tantrums are no fun without an audience!

Help Develop Self-control
If your child has tantrums and can't seem to calm herself down, it's best to teach her how to control herself. Do this by enveloping her in a hug and rocking her with soothing words, "It's okay. Calm down." When the tantrum is winding down, distract her by washing her face or giving her a drink of water. Do not give in to the child's original request, and stay calm yourself. At a quiet time, begin to teach your child what to do when she gets angry (what words and actions are appropriate).


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