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Table Manners and Toddlers
Are Toddlers Old Enough to Learn Table Manners?
By Shannon McKelden
From there, "thank you" can be introduced, progressing a little at a time through such skills as chewing with their mouths closed and asking to be excused from the table.
"The biggest success we've had in teaching our toddlers table manners is a combination of simple explaining/reinforcement, and the example of their older siblings," says Tricia Ballard, mother of four from Bloomington, Ill. "We expect our boys to excuse themselves from the table and clear their dishes when they've finished eating. We explained the concept to our youngest [son] when he was about 2 (and old enough to climb down from the table on his own!), very simply: When you are finished eating, can you say, 'Please, may I be excused?'"
Repeating the words is enough for Ballard right now. "We're not going for understanding yet, just following the routine," she says. "I think the key at this stage is just having them go through the motions. We'll work on the reasons behind good table manners once they're older."
Remember, too, not to expect the impossible. "It is very important to remember that there is a difference between a 2- to 3-year-old and a 4- to 5-year-old in regard to both skill level and the ability to understand what is expected," Hausmann says. "Unlike pre-kindergarten-aged children, toddlers are just beginning to learn many of the basic skills necessary for the development of proper table manners, such as fine motor skills and the ability to vocalize needs and wants. Therefore, parents' expectations and lessons should be age appropriate."