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The Truth About Growing Apart
6 Surprising Ways to Strengthen Your Marriage
By Morrie Shechtman and Arleah Shechtman
The Shechtmans believe that a person's emotional texture is, in large part, shaped by the way he or she felt in childhood. Your moods or feelings, known as your familiars, can be positive or negative. It's your negative familiars that stand in the way of fully enjoying adult life with the partner you have chosen. Once you realize this truth, you are free to explore your feelings, grieve the unhappiness of your childhood and move on. But the important point is that this is your responsibility and yours alone. "In a great marriage, both partners assume full responsibility for their own inner lives," say the Shechtmans. "This means that you don't view your partner as the cause of what you are feeling. Nor do you view yourself as the cause of what he is feeling. You don't blame your partner for your own unhappiness, nor do you blame yourself for his."