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Home › Articles › Your Toddlers › I Love You

I Love You

How to Say It with Meaning

By Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller

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"I love you because you are loveable" is an important concept to help children appreciate. It helps them understand that your love is attached to nothing. It simply is. Be careful not to add any other words after because. "I love you because you are thoughtful" adds a condition that communicates conditional love. The only acceptable phrase to use with because is because you are loveable.

  • Say "I love you" at unexpected times. Children often hear our expressions of love at familiar times. We typically say "I love you" when we are going out the door on our way to work. We say it when we end a phone conversation. "I love you" is often the last communication our children hear as we tuck them into bed at night. "I love you" at those times is often expected and certainly anticipated. To heighten the impact of these three valuable words, use them at unexpected times. Say them in the middle of a meal, as you are driving down the road in your car or as you stand at the kitchen sink doing dishes together.

    • Some children are auditory and need to hear the words "I love you." Others are tactile and need to be touched to feel loved. Still others are visual and need to see love on your face and in your actions. Why not give your children all three variations when you communicate your love?

    Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller are the authors of The 10 Commitments: Parenting with Purpose (Personal Power Press, 2004). For more information, visit www.chickmoorman.com or www.thomashaller.com.


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